from Jane to Jared to Jarhand to Jealous Guy

Day 1001, Session 159:
When/Where: Tuesday March 24th - Running around.
First song: Jane by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: Jared Floyd by Moxy Fruvous
Progress: 3586-3596 of 8565
Total Songs Heard: 2054

I have 4 versions of songs titled Jane. 2 by BNL, 2 by Ben Folds Five. Last football season I met a girl in a bar named Jane. We talked about Ultimate Fighting, something I apparently know just enough about to have a conversation about in a bar. I realized as she left the bar that she was only the second Jane I could recall knowing in my entire life. (The other Jane is my friend Mike's mom, so I didn't even know her as Jane, I knew her as Mrs. Mike's mom. (Not actually true, I called her by her last name, but I don't need)

When did Jane become such an uncommon name? Was there some evil Jane that I've just blocked out of my mind because she was sooooo evil? I mean, I understand why I didn't grow up knowing any Adolphs, but what's the deal with Jane?

Jane - Barenaked Ladies

Day 1007, Session 160:
When/Where: Monday March 30th - Flying back from Vegas.
First song: Jarhand by Immaculate Machine
Last full song: Jealous Guy by Collective Soul
Progress: 3597-3602 of 8565
Total Songs Heard: 2060

This was on the way home from Vegas. It was another great trip with the guys. It's amusing to see the debauchery reclaiming Vegas after the mid-90s attempt to turn the town into some sort of family destination. In the year 2000 (in the year 2000...) we made our second trip and stayed at the Excalibur hotel and casino. The place was crawling with kids. You couldn't get a seat at a $5 blackjack table cause 5-year olds were taking up all the seats.

This time (I believe this was my 11th trip) we ended up back at Excalibur for the first time since that trip in 2000. Excalibur at night used to be mostly dead since all the kiddies were in bed, and all the adults had gone swanky dance clubs that wouldn't let me in even if I was willing to pay the $20 cover (which I'll never EH-VER pay.) Suddenly, Excalibur at night is a happening place. They have 'dancers' on a stage right in the middle of the casino floor. The tables directly surrounding the dancers were stuffed to the gills with dudes who thought the only thing better than losing money was losing money while watching strippers stay dressed.

I avoided those tables like the plague...

In an alarming sign of my continued oldness I even turned down the limo guy who was offering to drive us to and get us into whatever strip club we wanted. Sigh... I'm there to gamble and drink, boobs just distract me from my goals.

The latter half of the previous sentence should probably be engraved on my headstone.

Vegas Time

Away in Vegas with the boys. Be back next week.

In the meantime, if you're a Barenaked Ladies fan, check out their first show as a 4-person band. I'd be lying if I didn't say it's rough, but I like the fact that they put it out there for us to hear.

You can download the concert here. It's available until March 27th.

If you have a moment, send some good gambling karma my way. It'd sure be nice to come home with a slightly heavier wallet than I left with (for a reason other than packing my wallet with a bunch of hooker cards I picked up on the strip.)

from Inflatable Amy to Into The Mystic

Day 919, Session 151:
When/Where: Thursday January 1st - 36,000 feet over somewhere (the return.)
First song: Inflatable Amy by The Argument
Last full song: Into The Mystic by Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová
Progress: 2113-2139 of 6078
Total Songs Heard: 1964

Vegas travels, part 2:

First things first (and this won't mean anything to you unless you fly Southwest Airlines) we checked into our flight at the very moment that check-in opened up, and we ended up with B11. That means in the 15 seconds (at most) between when check-in opened and when we checked in, 55 people checked in before us. I should have realized this was an omen.

Because we got on the plane much later than we usually do, The Wife and I took the 1st available pair of seats we can find. In row 7 we find our seats (did you know that rows 7 & 8 on planes without a first class section often have more leg room?) and after looking around to assure there are no kids near us we say hello to the nice older lady by the window and take our seats. Immediately upon sitting down the nice old lady proceeds to cough hard enough and long enough to make me absolutely certain she's a lunger. So this is going to be a pleasant 4 hours. AND THEN...

Just before take off, The Wife stands up to make some pre-flight adjustments and her face goes pale. "I don't believe it," she says. I follow her eyes and GODSDAMNIT! It's the kid! and his worthless mother! AGAIN! This time they are on the other side of the aisle and one row behind us. They must have gotten on the plane after we took our seats, because there's no way in hell we would have missed them on intial inspection. 30 seconds after the plane has left the ground, the screaming begins again. I CAN NOT believe it.

So again, I didn't get to do a whole lot of reflecting during this segment as the music was turned up really loud so as to drown out the coughing on the right and the screaming from the left.

I decided to stop after Into The Mystic even though we had 90 minutes left in the flight because if I can't enjoy Into The Mystic (and at this point I couldn't) then there was no point in going on.

Here is how Into The Mystic should be listened to: Get yourself a glass of something (I recommend bourbon on the rocks,) turn down the lights, turn up the music (but not blasting into your ears up,) and let your soul and spirit fly.

Into The Mystic - Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

I also heartily recommend the original Van Morrison version of the song, but I don't have that one in my collection for some reason. Oh, all right, here it is:

After we got off the plane, we overheard the conversation from the people sitting directly in front of the kid. They couldn't believe no one would stop this kid from crying and kicking the chair for 4 consecutive hours. I told them it could have been worse. It could have been 5. We all laughed, but I don't think any of us felt any better.

According to my sister (who was seated across the aisle and behind the kid for the flight out) the bad mother did not sleep for the entire flight out (which is what we thought she was doing. The Wife and I assumed she was sick.) Nope, apparently she was awake long enough to have several drinks on the flight. Unbelievable.

As a public service, using my new camera phone, I took a picture of the woman as we waited at baggage claim. Please be aware that if you see this woman and her kid on a plane you are also on, you should immediately rebook your flight and possibly change your travel plans to go to an entirely different city. (I realize the picture isn't very clear, but it's not like I could go up to her and ask her to pose for it.)

from Indonesian Wine to Infinite Tamboura

Day 913, Session 150:
When/Where: Friday December 26th - 36,000 feet over somewhere.
First song: Indonesian Wine by SNMNMNM
Last full song: Infinite Tamboura by Rusted Root
Progress: 2111-2112 of 6078
Total Songs Heard: 1937

"Why on earth are you writing an entry on only two songs?" you may ask.

I didn't want 2008 to end without squeezing out one more entry, and I wanted to tell the story of my flight to Vegas and then you can judge whether it's a metaphor for anything else (like my entire year.)

The annual post-Christmas pilgrimage to Las Vegas started off not so great. Our 2:45 flight became a 6:30 flight due to weather problems in sweet home Chicago. Once we got on the plane however, things were looking up. The Wife and I were able to snag seats in the exit row which of course meant greatly enhanced leg room for the duration of the now 5.5 hour (usually about 4.5, but again, the weather) flight. I realize I'm not particularly tall and so taking the exit row seats when there was an entire basketball team getting on the plane after us (go Ohio Northern Fighting Northerners!) seems like something of a dick move, but my knee tends to go a bit wacky when I'm forced into cramped seating for an extended period and I have to constantly get up to stretch it. With the exit row, there's no need for getting up. (Plus, it's not like the entire basketball team could have fit in the exit row anyhow and if they really wanted that row, they should have checked in exactly 24 hours before the flight like we did.)

As the rest of the passengers filed on, I noticed a kid (probably 2 or 3 years old) getting into the row behind us.

"Uh, oh." I whispered to The Wife, but she assured me that she had seen this kid in the waiting area and that he had quiet, if a little rambunctious. (I found out later from my mom that he had been trying to tip over one of the big airport trashcans.)

4 hours later I wanted to strangle the kid and both of his adult "guardians." The child in the row behind us began wailing approximately 8 seconds after take off. He continued to scream without stop for the entire duration of the flight. I think it might have been a world record. As an added bonus, I was sitting directly in front of him and he was keeping the beat to his cry-fest by drumming what I was assuming were his feet against the back of my seat.

I assumed it was his feet, but for all I know it could have been his head. Unlike everyone else around me, I refused to turn around and look at the sorry group of adults who were responsible for this child. I was so filled with loathing for their existence that I feared if I turned around and stared them down the power of my furious glare would reduce them all to ash. I didn't want the death of 3 more people on my conscience.

I attempted to self medicate my way out of this sonic filabuster with enough drink to put me to sleep (free as a peace offering for the lateness of our flight, thanks Southwest!) but the screaming was too much. I attempted to drown it out by finding the loudest music on my iPod and playing it at full blast. This worked to an extent, but I'm not a person who really enjoys blasting music directly into my brain via headphone, so it was not an ideal solution.

Then... I took out a pen to put the memories of this experience down on paper. I wrote exactly one sentence before discovering that the pen couldn't take the screaming anymore and decided to end it all in the most dramatic way a pen can... by exploding. Black pen blood coated my hand. Adjusting the pen to see where the fatal wound was only made things worse. So now I've got a screaming, kicking kid and blood... er, ink on my hands. I'm seriously considering throttling the kid, the kid's parents, and myself at this point, so I have to wash the ink off so as to leave less evidence.

I headed to the plane bathroom, and since I had had a couple of drinks, I decided to kill a second bird while washing my hands. I'm siting there returning a portion of my rented drinks (sitting because of a previous plane/turbulence/restroom experience) and I decide I'll wash my hands at the same time. Yeah, that was a mistake. It turns out those airplane sinks pack a surprising amount of water pressure. So now I'm covered in water, and ink (and luckily that's all.)

I get back to my seat and decide that I might as well spend the remaining tortuous time of the flight working on this here project and of course, just as I get through the second song they make the announcement that we're making our final approach. Five minutes after that the kid's mother finally wakes up (she somehow has been sleeping almost the entire flight!) and holds the kid, at which point the kid finally stops crying.

This is not the kind of luck you want on your side as you begin a trip to Vegas.

I promise you this, if two years from now my 18-month kid (codename: Gummy) is causing that sort of misery to my fellow passengers, you can bet that we'll be solving that problem with children's Benadryl and airplane bottle sized doses of liquor.

So that's it for 2008. It was a bad year for one reason (no job) outweighed by the many reasons it was a good year: Phillies' World Series Title, Obama victory, success for the wife at her job, financial stability, continued good health for me and my family, and, last but certainly not least, the news of impending Gummy.

Of course there's no reason 2009 can't be even better. I hope it is for you too.

Happy New Year.

from I Lost On Jeopardy to I Love Paris

Day 835, Session 140:
When/Where: Thursday October 2nd - Driving home from a job interview.
First song: I Lost On Jeopardy by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Last full song: I Love Paris by Jack Constanzo
Progress: 2162-2168 of 6112
Total Songs Heard: 1777

First of all: Hooray! Job Interview! I think it went well and the place with which I interviewed would be a good fit. I'm keeping my fingers crossed (well, not now so much, typing with crossed fingers = hard.)

The other good news is that it's only a 7 song drive. Of course I probably wouldn't drive much, parking around Chicago is expensive.

I Love N.Y.E. - Badly Drawn Boy

Great little instrumental from a great little movie, "About A Boy," which is based on the Nick Hornby book. If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, I recommend you do both.

New Year's Eve isn't really a big deal for me, so I was pretty surprised when I sat here thinking about it to realize that I can remember what I was doing each New Year's Eve since 1997 (not coincidentally the first one with The Wife.)

1997/8 - Celebrate back in Philly with Mike, Kristin, and Kerstin. The Wife and I had been dating for a little over 2 months. Meeting my high school friends and Philly family on the trip was a pretty big deal. She passed with flying colors. I have photos from this N.Y.E. that, if I ever bought a scanner, would be sure to amuse the people who were there.
1998/9 - Just me and The Wife in her parents basement in C-bus. We watched a movie, I fell asleep before the ball dropped.
1999/2000 - The big millennium! The Wife and I went out to dinner, and then joined an in progress party at the BOX (my college house.) A loud and fun way to say goodbye to the good ole 1900s.
2000/1 - In Chicago at The Wife's apartment. Just me, her, and her roommate hanging out watching Dick Clark. Kinda lame, er... I mean, quiet.
2002/3 - The Wife and I threw a party at our favorite apartment in Chicago. The Wife made a ton of lasagna and it was delicious. After 'celebrating' (here being code for drinking) all night, Kaylor joined me at 6am as I ran out into the streets of Chicago and berated the sun for 2002 being such a shitty year. This was probably a great start to the year for some of my neighbors as they were awoken at 6 in the morning by the lunatic yellings of a crazy person. Probably the last year in which I was able to actually party all the way through to 6 the next morning.
2003/4 - The Wife and I threw another party at another, not as good apartment. Kaylor (middle,) Jay & Mel, Liz & John (right,) Kate & Ryno, Chip, and Mace were all there. For some reason, my hair was blondish and Jon, John, and I thought it best to welcome 2004 with grimaces on our faces.
2004/5 - The party was at Kaylor's this time. We had dinner and played board games and watched various balls drop.
2005/6 - Maybe this year was at Kaylor's place. Either way I guess I was lying about remembering every year since either 04/05 or 05/06 escapes me.
2006/7 - The Wife and I celebrated alone at our new home. She had a glass of champagne and fell asleep. I finished the rest of the bottle and watched Garrison Keilor's Central Time Zone New Year's show. This may be the N.Y.E. where I officially became old. I do remember having a great champagne buzz.
2007/8 - The Wife and I were in Vegas with the family. We rung in Central, Mountain, and Pacific time zone New Years at the same blackjack table at our local Lake Las Vegas casino. I drank champagne from a fountain and actually won some money.

Now if I can just get back to work soon, I won't have to spend N.Y.E. 2008/9 yelling at the sun again.

(You may have noticed that I skipped N.Y.E. 2001/2... there's a story there for another day.)

from Get Older to Ghetto Thang

Day 556, Session 104:
When/Where: Friday December 28th - Live from Vegas.
First song: Get Older by Matthew Sweet
Last full song: Ghetto Thang [Ghetto Ximer] by De La Soul
Progress: 1531-1538 of 5544
Total Songs Heard: 1242

Seems fitting that one of the songs from the last batch of the year would be Getting Better by The Beatles. As much as I whine and complain things really did get better in 2007. A small sampling (in no particular order:)

Upgraded to the fantastic new world of both HDTV and a DVR. I've always loved my TV and 2007 has made me love it even more.
Left a job that was no longer any good for me.
Remodeled our kitchen which included installing a dishwasher. I don't have a lot of relationship advice to give, but here's one thing that has served me well: If you're going to move in with your significant other, make sure you have a dishwasher.
Acquired a Wii, which has led to an unexpected amount of video game enjoyment (including watching my Dad play a video game for the first time in years and my Mom play for the first time ever.)
Performed another wedding.
Became a first time uncle.
Left Vegas ahead for the first time.
Watched my beloved Dayton Flyers win 2 games on ESPN.
Continued to have a great family and of course...
I have a fantastic wife.

Those are just things that I thought of while looking around my living room. I'm sure if I really put some brain power to it, I'd be able to come up with more.

There's no reason to think that pattern won't continue on into 2008. Whatever job I get next will have to be better than what I left. The kitchen remodel is the first (and biggest) part of our continuing efforts to make the house a home. The nephew will get out of that new baby phase and start to get to the age where you can really have fun with kids. Video games will continue to be fun. My cable system is adding more HD channels. Vegas... well, Vegas will probably get me back, but I still love Vegas. Dayton enters 2008 ranked! Hopefully I'll get to see family more. The wife will continue to be herself, which is to say, great.

Sorry if I've alarmed anyone with the unprecedented burst of optimism (even I'm surprised I didn't focus on Get Older,) but why not end/start the year on a positive note?

One more positive thing that will happen this year. Surely I will make more progress than the (pathetic) amount of progress made in 2007. It was a shockingly low number, even considering the 'break' I took to catch up. How low? Let's just say that 2 songs a day will be an improvement.

Getting Better - The Beatles

Tuesday November 28th - Morning

Day 159, Session 56:
Location: On the train heading into the loop.
First song: Conjunction Junction by Better Than Ezra
Last full song: Country Love Song by Stephen Lynch
Progress: 744-757 of 4546
Total Songs Heard: 660

Contender by Royale Crown Review was the first song I ever turned into a music bed during my radio days. It involved mixing and looping. It took me hours to do, but once it was done, for about 10 minutes I felt cool. This would not be the last time that Royale Crown Review tried to make me feel cool.

I'm a big fan of Vegas (the city, not the NBC show.) Not being financially set up to be a high roller however, my trips tend to stick to the sports book and the $5/10 tables. I rarely do anything cool while I'm there. I mean, sure, I've seen Sigfried and Roy (about a week before the mauling) and Blue Man in Vegas, but those are touristy things. The only cool non-gambling thing I can think of in Vegas was when we went to the Hard Rock to see Royale Crown Review.

The "cool" part of it was the show, instead of being in a club, was by the pool. Apparently at the time the Hard Rock pool was one of the places to be seen in Vegas. We definitely didn't fit in. For one thing, none of us had fake boobs or tattoos. For another, even though we were by the pool, none of us felt comfortable hanging out in just our bathing suit. It took me about halfway through the set before I warmed up to the idea of removing my shoes while standing in the sand. (Yes, the pool has a fake beach.)

All in all we enjoyed the show. The band was good and we theoretically were "being seen." Honestly though, we were more excited that the concert also featured a buffet than we were to be hanging with the high rollers.