from Jane to Jared to Jarhand to Jealous Guy

Day 1001, Session 159:
When/Where: Tuesday March 24th - Running around.
First song: Jane by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: Jared Floyd by Moxy Fruvous
Progress: 3586-3596 of 8565
Total Songs Heard: 2054

I have 4 versions of songs titled Jane. 2 by BNL, 2 by Ben Folds Five. Last football season I met a girl in a bar named Jane. We talked about Ultimate Fighting, something I apparently know just enough about to have a conversation about in a bar. I realized as she left the bar that she was only the second Jane I could recall knowing in my entire life. (The other Jane is my friend Mike's mom, so I didn't even know her as Jane, I knew her as Mrs. Mike's mom. (Not actually true, I called her by her last name, but I don't need)

When did Jane become such an uncommon name? Was there some evil Jane that I've just blocked out of my mind because she was sooooo evil? I mean, I understand why I didn't grow up knowing any Adolphs, but what's the deal with Jane?

Jane - Barenaked Ladies

Day 1007, Session 160:
When/Where: Monday March 30th - Flying back from Vegas.
First song: Jarhand by Immaculate Machine
Last full song: Jealous Guy by Collective Soul
Progress: 3597-3602 of 8565
Total Songs Heard: 2060

This was on the way home from Vegas. It was another great trip with the guys. It's amusing to see the debauchery reclaiming Vegas after the mid-90s attempt to turn the town into some sort of family destination. In the year 2000 (in the year 2000...) we made our second trip and stayed at the Excalibur hotel and casino. The place was crawling with kids. You couldn't get a seat at a $5 blackjack table cause 5-year olds were taking up all the seats.

This time (I believe this was my 11th trip) we ended up back at Excalibur for the first time since that trip in 2000. Excalibur at night used to be mostly dead since all the kiddies were in bed, and all the adults had gone swanky dance clubs that wouldn't let me in even if I was willing to pay the $20 cover (which I'll never EH-VER pay.) Suddenly, Excalibur at night is a happening place. They have 'dancers' on a stage right in the middle of the casino floor. The tables directly surrounding the dancers were stuffed to the gills with dudes who thought the only thing better than losing money was losing money while watching strippers stay dressed.

I avoided those tables like the plague...

In an alarming sign of my continued oldness I even turned down the limo guy who was offering to drive us to and get us into whatever strip club we wanted. Sigh... I'm there to gamble and drink, boobs just distract me from my goals.

The latter half of the previous sentence should probably be engraved on my headstone.

Vegas Time

Away in Vegas with the boys. Be back next week.

In the meantime, if you're a Barenaked Ladies fan, check out their first show as a 4-person band. I'd be lying if I didn't say it's rough, but I like the fact that they put it out there for us to hear.

You can download the concert here. It's available until March 27th.

If you have a moment, send some good gambling karma my way. It'd sure be nice to come home with a slightly heavier wallet than I left with (for a reason other than packing my wallet with a bunch of hooker cards I picked up on the strip.)

from It's Coming Down to It's The End Of The World...

Day 974, Session 156:
When/Where: Wednesday February 25th - Grocery run.
First song: It's Coming Down by Cake
Last full song: It's The End Of The World As We Know It by R.E.M.
Progress: 2925-2936 of 7114
Total Songs Heard: 2026

Which is worse: a group goes on hiatus with no real intention ever to return (Fruvous) or a group member leaves by "mutual agreement" but the rest of the group stays together (BNL)?

Although it happened over a week ago now, I'm still confounded by the whole Steven Page has left Barenaked Ladies thing. As far as I can tell, this leaves BNL about 50% down on songs they can perform live without Steve. Sure, maybe I traditionally have like "Ed songs" better, but still, what kind of BNL show will it be knowing you have no chance of hearing Break Your Heart, or Old Apartment, or Brian Wilson? Oh yeah and how the hell are they going to do If I Had $1000000? That one is a duet. Actually, I think Kaylor and I should now join the group specifically to do that song.

I suppose it's not really a surprising. They've been together for 20 years, and Steve wants to try new things. Nothing wrong with that. I just hope that's all it is. Last year was a very difficult one with Steve's arrest and Ed's plane crash. I hope it really is a move that Steve wanted to make and not a move that the band felt like they had to make. Hopefully VH1 will not have to refilm the ending of the Barenaked Ladies' Behind the Music (they still make those right?) to tell the story of Steve's downward spiral or the group's move to Vegas to open for the all new Celine Dion Canadian Rock Spectacle.

My guess? Both parties will come out of this ok. BNL will continue to make good music even with a noticably different sound. Steve Page will find success in his new ventures, and in a few years, we'll all be able to by tickets to a BNL/Steve summer reunion tour to celebrate 25 years of music. Even if that's not how it works out, they had a heck of a run.

(Side note for obsessive BNL fans like me: Has anyone else noticed the prescient titles of the two new songs from their greatest hits CD? Thanks That Was Fun and It's Only Me (which is sung by Steve.) We all should have seen this coming back in 2001.)

It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland - Live) - Barenaked Ladies
It's Only Me - Barenaked Ladies

from If I Had $1,000,000 to If I Had...

Day 874, Session 145:
When/Where: Monday November 17th - Afternoon chorefest: car/Jewel/home
First song: If I Had $1,000,000 by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: If I Had A Rocket Launcher by Bruce Cockburn
Progress: 2133-2141 of 6069
Total Songs Heard: 1868

First of all, once again, F you iTunes. I won't bore you with the details of exactly why it happened, but when I started iTunes this morning, I had to rebuild my iTunes library. Just like the last time, after the initial rebuild, I had to re-rebuild the library because iTunes couldn't find over 1000 songs. I can understand why it would miss those songs since they were hidden away... in the iTunes folder. It's not a huge deal, except for the part where a big part of doing this project right means being able to track stats. Now all the stats are f-ed.

Anyway...
9 tracks, but only 4 different songs today. Started with 3 versions of If I Had $1,000,000. This is the song that launched my fandom of BNL. I had never heard of Barenaked Ladies (despite my affinity for scantily clad women) before my freshman year in college. 2nd semester Joey and I got a radio show and BNL showed up on our playlist. We were hooked immediately.

That started a whirlwind affair with BNL that saw me attend something like 8 shows in the space of 18 months. Of course this was also pre-One Week which meant you could go to a BNL show and actually get to be close to the band and do fun things like throw mac and cheese at the stage when they sang the "we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner" line. I still love the guys today, but it hasn't been the same since their shows moved from mid-sized clubs into full-sized arenas.

If I Had $1,000,000 is also my "go to" karaoke song. The down side is you need someone to sing it with you, so I've occasionally ended up singing it with complete randoms. The upside is when you have someone who knows the song as well as you do, it's always a crowd pleaser. Kaylor and I have gotten compliments from strangers after our rendition.

If I had $1,000,000 I'd buy something nice for the wife, then we'd take a fun vacation. I'd bank the rest and attempt to live off the interest. After building up a few years of interest I'd probably buy a new place to live. I like where I live now, but if I could buy a really nice new condo or single family place that'd be even better. The new place would have a game room and I would buy an Addam's Family pinball machine and a pool table for that room.

I'm guessing everyone here is familiar with the song, so instead of the Gordon version here is live version from a 2004 Philly concert:

If I Had $1,000,00 - Barenaked Ladies

The 2nd song (actually the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th) heard was If I Had A Boat. It's a Lyle Lovett song, but the Lyle Lovett version is the last one I actually heard. I first found the Dave Matthews Band thanks to Napster in 2000, then the Eddie From Ohio and Jimmy Buffett covers. It's one of those songs that speaks to me for some reason. I think it's my chronic urge to get away from things.

If I really had a boat, I'm sure I'd have no idea what to actually do with it. I'm don't think I would take it out onto the ocean. Knowing me I'd sink the thing 1st time out. If I'm going to sink a boat I'd rather do it in a nice recreational lake. So I guess that means I don't really want to get away from things, I just want to be somewhere I can float and drink a beer. The pony would be a nice though. I could rent it out for kids parties and finally have a source of income. That is assuming of course that you make more money renting a pony out than you spend on the costs of pony upkeep. This may be a losing proposition all around.

If I Had A Boat - Lyle Lovett
If I Had A Boat - Eddie From Ohio
If I Had A Boat - Jimmy Buffett
If I Had A Boat - Dave Matthews Band

So if you had $1,000,000 and/or a boat (and pony,) what would you do?

from I've Got Dreams... to I Am Not...

Day 789, Session 134:
When/Where: Friday August 15th - Puttering around the house
First song: I've Got Dreams To Remember by Oh Susanna
Last full song: I Am Not The Only Cowboy by Josh Joplin
Progress: 2056-2070 of 6038
Total Songs Heard: 1701

When I was thinking about going to college, there were two things I was sure I wanted to do:

1. Play ultimate frisbee.
2. Sing in an a capella group.

(Ok sure, there were other things that almost all teenage guys have on their list of things to do in college, but you all have active functional imaginations, so I'm not typing them out.)

I ended up doing neither. There was ultimate frisbee at Dayton, but it wasn't nearly as big as I had heard of it being at other schools. There was a club team, but no intramural league. I wasn't nearly committed (or skilled) enough to play on a club team. I don't think I really missed it that much. I played a lot of pick up volleyball and basketball, at least until drinking and bar trivia became my full time sport of choice.

I was however disappointed that I was not part of an a capella group. I had a pretty good excuse though. There was no a capella at Dayton. At least not in the 4.5 years I was there. I always found that strange. I thought a capella groups sprouted up at colleges like foot fungus in dorm showers. I guess I was wrong. I suppose it's ok though. I doubt any group I'd have been in would have been able to do anything as good as this:

I've Gotta Get A Message To You - Moxy Fruvous

Edit - Damn it. This was actually day 787, not 789. (Passing math classes was another thing I didn't do in college.) Fuck it, I like the song, I'm leaving it.

from I'm A Wheel to I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

Day 754, Session 131:
When/Where: Sunday July 13th - Wandering around the kitchen making spaghetti dinner.
First song: I'm A Wheel by Wilco
Last full song: I'm Gonna Make You Love Me by The Jayhawks
Progress: 2125-2132 of 6062
Total Songs Heard: 1653

4 straight Wilco songs to start the day. Of course 3 of them were I'm A Wheel so it wasn't that surprising.

What is surprising and disappointing is news that Barenaked Ladies singer Steven Page was arrested for possession of cocaine. Say what now? One of the guys from BNL and cocaine?!? That is disappointing but, strangely, I wish I was more disappointed by this news. I guess I'm too old and jaded now to be surprised by much of anything among the artists I admire. (Even one whose most recent release was a kid's cd.) The band has taken a wait and see approach to this news and I guess I'll do the same.

(Sorry for that unexpected foray into actual news, I was in the middle of typing this up when The Wife found the story of the arrest.)

I'm Going To Go Back There Someday - The Muppets (specifically Gonzo)

Towards the end of The Muppet Movie, before the big showdown, the gang stops in the desert and sleeps out under the stars. I know I've written about it before, but the sense of home is still elusive. When I here Gonzo sing I also hope to go back there someday. I'm just not entirely sure where there is. I don't think Gonzo exactly knows either which is probably why this particular song connects so well.

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers

I'd like to think if I had a twin brother, this is what we would sing at karaoke. Use of Scottish accents would be entirely dependent on how much we had to drink. BTW, if you're like me and wonder what this means:

And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you.

"Haver" means "to talk nonsense" at least it does if you believe everything you read on Yahoo answers.

I'm Gonna Make You Love Me - The Jayhawks

If only the romancing was actually so easy.

1) Find the one you want.
2) Make them love you.
2a) Have them recognize that you're never going to fulfill their idealized view of what they were looking for.
3) Stay together for a million years.

This song is catchy enough to make me think it could work.

from Holly Up to Home For A Rest

Day 665, Session 123:
When/Where: Tuesday April 15th - Walking to the post office to mail taxes, then running home.
First song: Holly Up On Poppy by XTC
Last full song: Home For A Rest by Great Big Sea
Progress: 1975-1980 of 5894
Total Songs Heard: 1574

Good news and bad news from the running project. The good news: This particular run was the first time I managed to go a full mile without breaking into a walk. Now I know, you're probably thinking that a mile isn't all that much, and I tend to agree but I've gotta start somewhere right? The key to this whole project (both this one and the running one) is to keep everything from getting painful. If things get painful, they're no longer fun and if something isn't fun, why in the world would I keep doing it? So yeah, a mile and it wasn't that bad.

The bad: What was bad was when I decided to walk back from I.O. that night in a different pair of shoes. It was a two mile walk and by the end I knew I had new and exciting blisters on my feet. Stupid feet. As a side note, the single most looked at page of this blog is the entry that has a picture of my blistered foot. Makes me wonder if besides my 10 (that's right we're in double figures!) loyal readers, all I'm really doing here is disappointing a bunch of foot fetishists.

As far as the music goes, there were 4 straight songs about home. On a recent trip back to Philadelphia for a cousin's wedding my entire family stopped by our old house in Havertown. The family that owns the house now (not the people we sold to) were all out in the yard, so (much to our embarrassment) our parents got out and started talking to them. They invited us to come in a look around and see the changes they had made to the place. It was strange. (So strange that all the significant others stayed in the car.) The house looked like I remembered it, yet at the same time I couldn't muster up any connection to the place. I lived there for 5 years, but it may have well have been the first time I walked in there.

This only furthers my earlier theory (a theory that I'm sure I'me the only person to ever come up with) that a place doesn't make a home, people do.

I will say though, when you're out running and you're tired and you've gone farther than you have in a while, the physical place is home enough. Home For A Rest came just as I was finishing the mile and doing a quick cool down walk, sometimes song timing is eerie appropriate.

Home - Barenaked Ladies
Home For A Rest - Great Big Sea

from Heaven to Hello City

Day 624, Session 115:
When/Where: Wednesday March 5th - "Liveblogging" through some afternoon chores
First song: Heaven (Live) by The Swimmers
Last full song: Hello City (Live) by Barenaked Ladies
Progress: 1857-1867 of 5831
Total Songs Heard: 1480

Back after a few days of recovering from my totally whack-a-do Saturday night. I'm efforting to live blog my way through today's tunes... so until the Last Full Song section above is filled in, feel free to check back to see what I can write with less than the space of a song to think about it.

2:16 - Heaven (Live) by The Swimmers - "Heaven is the town we grew up, all our friends around..." A great little tune from The Swimmers who coincidentally are from the town where I grew up, Philadelphia. I think a lot of people would be disappointed if heaven ended up being the town where they grew up. Not me. I like where I grew up, and liked that period of my life. I wouldn't mind trying it again with some of the wisdom I've gained since leaving. The Swimmers first full length cd came out yesterday. I'll be taking a listen at some point.

2:20 - Heaven Alive by Oceansize - The last of the short run of heaven related songs. Unfortunately it's at the bottom of the list which would go like this: 1. Heaven by The Swimmers 2. Heaven by Warrant (still a surprisingly good song) 3. Heaven by Better Than Ezra 4. Heaven Alive.

2:26 - Heavy Metal Drummer (Live) by Wilco - Chicago's Wilco recently completed a 5 night "residence" at the Riviera Theater here in town. The cool thing about being in Chicago is that Wilco will come here and play 5 nights in a row. The not cool thing is that everyone in Chicago LOVES Wilco, which makes it practically impossible to get tickets, even if they're here for 5 straight nights. Luckily, Heather over at Fuel Friends had it covered with a link to a live recording of night 5. I suggest you get over there soon and check it out before it disappears.

2:33 - Heavy Metal Drummer by Wilco - The album version, also awesome.

2:37 - Heist by Ben Folds - From the soundtrack to the movie "Over The Hedge" which was a passable film on its own merits that was pushed into the enjoyable realm for me due the fact that Ben Folds was heavily featured on the soundtrack. It's currently in rotation on HBO and the animation looks pretty sweet in HD. Don't go out of your way to watch it or anything, but if it happens to be on and you can't get to the remote you shouldn't have to poke your eyes out.

2:40 - Helicopters by Barenaked Ladies - Back in my radio days we were invited to a special preview of the Dayton Air Show (which is a really big deal around Dayton.) My two morning show co-hosts and I were each given a ride in one of three stunt helicopters that would be flying during the show. Just being in a helicopter was quite an experience. Then they started doing their formation flying. Weaving in and out of the other two copters was quite an exhilarating experience. I watched the scariest stunt from the safety of my copter, one of the other guys went way up in the air then killed the engine and free fell. During the fall the engine restarted and the copter started hovering safely again after falling about 90% of the way to the ground. It probably would have taken me 20 minutes to locate my stomach after a trick like that. I'm pretty sure the pilots did it 10 times that day.

2:45 - Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers - I took too long typing that helicopter story and now don't have time to say anything about this song. Except to say that for such opposite concepts, the words Heaven and Hell are pretty close to each other alphabetically.

2:49 - Hell Is Chrome by Wilco - Figures... right after writing about how much everyone in Chicago loves Wilco, I immediately come to another Wilco song. Actually, to be honest, I didn't love this cd (A Ghost Is Born) nearly as much as I loved Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I've owned A Ghost Is Born since it first came out and this is probably only the 3rd or 4th time I've heard this song.

2:54 - Hello by Oasis - I very much enjoyed Oasis when What's The Story Morning Glory came out. I realize they were criticized for sounding too much like The Beatles, but... well... what's so bad about that? The Beatles were awesome, but the only thing time they're getting back together is for a heavenly reunion tour once Paul dies. Of course, unlike The Beatles, Oasis has done very little for me outside of one cd.

2:58 - Hello City by Barenaked Ladies - Track one of Barenaked Ladies first cd Gordon. I was hooked immediately. Apparently Hello City refers to Halifax, Nova Scotia. My favorite line: "Hello City, you've found an enemy in me." I don't think I have any enemy cities. I mean sure, I hate all the sports teams from New York, but now that my sister lives there I can't exactly hate the city.

3:01 - Hello City (Live) by Barenaked Ladies - Same song live from the Rock Spectacle cd.

Ok, got to wrap it up here for now as I've got another project I need to start working on.

from Halloween to Happy At Last

Day 602, Session 111:
When/Where: Tuesday February 12th - Another fascinating trip to Jewel.
First song: Halloween by Dave Matthews Band
Last full song: Happy At Last by Josh Joplin
Progress: 1754-1765 of 5733
Total Songs Heard: 1407

A really nice run of 12 today. A little too nice probably. While I was walking through Jewel (the local grocery store for you non-local readers) I'm pretty sure that I was both singing along and walking/dancing the cart in rhythm to whatever I happened to be listening to at the moment. Except for when Jewel's (the singer) Hands played. Then I was mumbling to myself once again about the presence of Jewel (the singer.) Little known fact: Jewel's hands are small and she is aware of it. It was crowded in the Jewel (the store) in front of the yogurt when Jewel (the singer) came on but it quickly cleared out as my mumbling became more animated. I caught one person looking at me like I was crazy, but I'm not sure if it was because they didn't see the headphones and thought I was talking to myself, or because they did see the headphones and they realized I was listening to Jewel (the singer) in Jewel (the store.) Either way, if I had seen me, I would have avoided me too.

As I walked out into the snow (another little known fact: pushing a full shopping cart through snow is good exercise) I hit the Hanukkah portion of music. In this case, Hanukkah consisted of two songs, both by Barenaked Ladies. I grew up in an area with a reasonably heavy Jewish population, so I've always had a soft spot for Hanukkah. We spent many an elementary school holiday music class singing both Christmas and Hanukkah songs (now I wonder if either are sung in school or if it's all completely religiously neutral "winter" songs.)

When I was very young, I actually thought Hanukkah and Christmas worked together. During Hanukkah, candles would be lit, then on Christmas, since it was baby Jesus' birthday, you would blow the candles out. Actually I'm still a little disappointed that's not how it goes.

Hanukkah Blessings - Barenaked Ladies

After Hanukkah I hit the beginning of the happy songs (or at least songs titled Happy "Something.") So let's see, what to be happy about? Well, first of I'm happy I downloaded Harvey Danger's last cd from their website. I hadn't thought much about the band since Flagpole Sitta came and went from the music scene but they offered their last cd, "Little By Little" for free so why not give it a chance? You might want to give it chance too, if for no other reason than to enjoy Happiness Writes White.

Happiness Writes White - Harvey Danger

Finally, I'm happy that Josh Joplin has come out of semi-retirement and has started limited touring again. He'll be in Chicago at Schuba's on March 1st and I'll be there along with the wife and good friends Jon and Lori.

Happy At Last - Josh Joplin

from Giving It Back to Gold

Day 577, Session 106:
When/Where: Friday January 18th - In the living room.
First song: Giving It Back by Matthew Sweet
Last full song: Gold by Interference
Progress: 1606-1635 of 5652
Total Songs Heard: 1299

Why would a man need a version of God Bless America on his ipod? The first reason of course would be if he were a great patriot. The second reason, and the one that applies here, is if he's a Philadelphia Flyers fan. Kate Smith was an American singer and radio performer who did most of her work in the 1930s and 40s. This version of God Bless America was recorded for the 1943 movie "This Is The Army," but found its place in the hearts of Flyers fans when the team began playing it before big games. The Flyers had an unbelievable record when kicking things off with Kate Smith. The high point of this pre-game tradition came in 1974 when the Flyers were playing the Bruins in the Stanley Cup finals. Kate Smith appeared live and thus inspired, the Flyers went on to win the game and their first Stanley Cup title.

Thanks to the magic of the internet, you can actually see the performance. It's not the greatest version of the song ever, but check out the crowd reaction. The ovation the crowd gives before a note is even sung captures the true bat-shit insane electricity of the moment. I've been in the crowd for some pretty exciting moments, but I don't think anything compares to this:

Goose bump city.

The original version of the song isn't bad either:
God Bless America - Kate Smith

Warning: Stop right here if you want a avoid a big sticky pile of sap.

I kind of have issues with "home." I grew up outside of Philadelphia and since that's where I grew up, that's where I've thought of as home for most of my life. One problem though, I don't live there anymore (and neither do my parents, so I'm almost never there.) It's been almost 14 years since Philly actually was home even though it still sometimes feels that way.

Even though I've been in Chicago for almost 7 years now, the first 5 and a half of those years were spent moving from apartment to apartment, never really settling down. Now The Wife and I own a house and 18 months into that experience we're really starting to make the place ours. When I got to the Barenaked Ladies song Go Home I started thinking that maybe this place is it. This feeling has been enhanced recently by our attempts to tackle some home improvement projects. If you know me, you know I'm not exactly a handyman, so several of the projects have been much harder than they should be. This is mostly due to my ineptness. For example, yesterday I broke off a drill bit and couldn't find where the broken bit piece ended up. This leads me to believe that it may be embedded somewhere on my body (possibly in my eye because safety glasses are for suckers.) My ineptness makes me feel kind of useless, and it's hard to feel at home in a place where you feel useless.

Through a quirk in scheduling I barely saw The Wife yesterday. I got home late last night and tried to sneak my way into bed. As I slipped under the covers The Wife, still 90% asleep, rolled over and wrapped an arm around me and said "There you are."

And there I was. That was home.

Go Home - Barenaked Ladies

I am lucky to be one of the few who has found somebody who can tolerate me.

Finally, if you were wondering how many different versions of Go Your Own Way one guy needs, the answer is three (original and live version by Fleetwood Mac, cover by The Cranberries.) I bet you thought the answer was less than 1.

from Fun & Games to Get It Together

Day 546, Session 103:
When/Where: Tuesday December 18th - Running some Christmas related chores around the 'hood.
First song: Fun & Games by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: Get It Together by Jackopierce
Progress: 1521-1546 of 5594
Total Songs Heard: 1234

First things first... let us all acknowledge the move from 'F' (last song: Future That Was) to 'G' (first song: G.O.D. which in this case stands for Good Old Days, but had an entirely different meaning in college when it was the wife's (then, the girlfriend's) BOX pledge name; and no, I'm not going to tell you what it stands for.)

Seems like I was in the 'F's forever. 193 songs isn't forever I guess, but considering it was still summer when the 'F's started and it was 3 days before winter when they ended, it certainly makes sense why it would seem that way. (Also, I still had a job when the 'F's started. In fact, the move that would eventually end with my quitting had just taken place.)

26 songs (most songs in a while) today but no giant I-have-to-write-about-this standout. Here's a Christmas sampler of music for your listening pleasure (no songs are Christmas related:)

Fun & Games - Barenaked Ladies
Is this a political protest song? Me thinks it is. I think this is one of the benefits BNL saw from releasing their Barenaked Ladies Are... cds on their own label. As much as I enjoy hearing a song about the complete boondoggle of a war we're totally stuck in right now, I can't imagine a major label would have given the ok to include such a song on a cd. The war in Iraq is another one of those things that I'm just not going to talk about here. But if you know how I feel about the completely corrupt and idiotic government that led us into this position, I think you can figure out how I feel about Iraq.

Fur Elise - Ludwig Van Beethoven
I taught myself how to play the main right hand part of this song. Unfortunately, I'm left hand stupid on the piano. I just don't understand chords. (I actually have the same problem with the guitar, which is why I continue to hesitate on signing up for banjo lessons.) Little known fact about me: I do everything right-handed except swing a baseball bat. Yep, I bat left-handed. Littler known fact: The only time I was able to hit 10 straight home runs in Wii Sports baseball, I did it hitting right-handed. Moral of the story, if I had switched to batting right-handed when I was a little kid, I probably would have been named in the Mitchell report last week.

Furry Old Lobster - Jonathan Coulton
This song is even more enjoyable if you have read John Hodgman's book. Oddly enough, after the song was released, an actual furry lobster was discovered. It's not the same lobster.

Gaelic Song - The Arrogant Worms
And the winner for best use of both strings and bits of the meow mix song goes to... this song. I'm sure if I spoke a Gaelic tongue this song would be even more moving.

Generator - Foo Fighters
This blogject very rarely rocks, so I thought it was important to point out a time when it does.

Get Back - The Beatles
When I was kid, I thought the first line of this song was, "Jojo was a man who thought he was a woman." This was in the days before I had heard of transvestites, so I thought this about the funniest opening line to a song ever. A man who thought he was a woman? That's just the sort of thing that will blow a 6 year-old's mind. Combine that with the later line (this one is real,)

Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman
But she was another man

and I can honestly say that I didn't get this song at all, but I knew it was funny. Come to think of it, I still don't know what this song is about... except that it is not about trannies.

Get In The Car - Moxy Früvous
This one is a live recording from Canal Street Tavern in Dayton. I love every time I come across a track from that show, just wanted to share the love.

So that's about it. It's possible that this will be the last entry for a while (and yes, I'm happy to have ended up on song 1234.) The Wife and I head back to the family compounds for the holidays this weekend and I'm never sure if the computers back there are fully functional.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. Have a safe and happy new year. Thanks for your continued visits. See you again soon.

Friday October 27th

Day 127, Session 49:
Location: Training away from work before hitting reheasal
First song: Christmas of Love by Little Isidore & The Inquisitors
Last full song: Circles by Soul Coughing
Progress: 646-659 of 4482
Total Songs Heard: 574

Made it through all the Christmas songs today, or at least all the ones that start with the word Christmas. Turns out there were 16 of them. That works out fine for writing this now, but was a bit strange in late October when these first came around. The Christmas Eve shopping trip with my sister once again worked to perfection. In fact, this year we improved on the trip by finding the back exit from the shopping center. Waiting in traffic to escape the Best Buy/Barnes and Noble parking lot? Totally for suckers.

I can't quite understand why Christmastime (Oh Yeah) doesn't get play on any of those 24-hour-a-day-from-Thanksgiving-through-Christmas stations. It's family friendly, it's got nice Christmas style harmonies, Barenaked Ladies will play on any radio station that isn't hard rock or R&B (and how many of those stations play Christmas music anyway?) but I've never heard it. I imagine it's almost impossible to break a new Christmas song on to one of those stations. I'm pretty sure they've been playing the same loop of music since the mid-80s (right after Do They Know It's Christmas? came out.) Just one more super annoying thing about the state of corporate radio.

The only thing that does change from year-to-year on those stations is those horrible "Special Christmas Wish" promos that they play. You know the one. The radio station (through the generous support of listeners like you) has bought Christmas presents for the poor family that is undergoing some hard times this holiday season. You know, Ma was laid off from the whoopie cushion plant and Pa is still in prison and Grandma has the scurvy and Junior has that terrible speech impediment that leads to all the other kids calling him "Stinky" (kids can be so non-sensical when they're cruel.) "Well," the soft-voiced DJ says, "we know how hard this Christmas is for you, so we've bought Tickle Me Elmos and Nicorette gum for everyone. All it will cost you is your dignity cause we'll be playing this promo every 22 minutes for the next 32 days." And then Ma blubbers into the phone, but not before remembering to drop the station catch phrase in there.

Meanwhile, I throw up in my car, but at least I wasn't waiting in traffic.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Thursday October 12th - Afternoon

Day 112, Session 37:
Location: Training home after another horrible degrading day as a mutant, er, cube farm employee.
First song: Brian Wilson by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: Bring Some Love by Rockapella
Progress: 499-508 of 4447
Total Songs Heard: 432

3 more versions of Brian Wilson to start the day. Putting it in the lead at this point with 4 completely different versions of the same song. One from Gordon, two live recordings, one radically radio edited version of the song that is really only allowed to hang around for completeness of my BNL collection purposes. The radio edit version totally rewrites the opening of the song. The problem is I like the beginning of the song. It builds very nice and slow to the refrain where the energy really takes off. The remix version goes right into the refrain.

Following the Brian Wilson triple play were 2 versions of Brick by Ben Folds Five. It still kills me that Brick is the only real big hit that Ben Folds Five had. So much of their music is about tight harmonies, and pounding piano and bass, and fun... and their big hit is slow and practically harmony free and just about the least fun song ever. It's probably why they eventually had to break up. If they had stayed together, they would've ended up being "those guys who did that song about abortion" for the rest of their career.

There actually exists a techno version of the song. I had it in my music library at one point. Then I realized a techno version of this particular song had to be the worst idea ever. Nothing says, "let's grind on the dance floor" like lyrics about the emotional aftermath of an abortion set to a thumping techno beat.

Thursday October 12th - Morning

Day 112, Session 36:
Location: The last two-thirds of the train ride to work.
First song: Bread by Clem Snide
Last full song: Brian Wilson by Barenaked Ladies
Progress: 493-498 of 4447
Total Songs Heard: 422

Heard two signature BNL songs. Brian Wilson, is the live from Philadelphia version (the first of four different versions of Brian Wilson I've got.) Break Your Heart is originally from the BNL cd "Born On A Pirate Ship" but the version I heard was from their concert cd "Rock Spectacle." It wasn't until I heard the "Rock Spectacle" version that I realized I didn't have "Born On A Pirate Ship" in my iPod. Then I remembered why...

Summer before second senior year a certain roommate a habit of borrowing cds and then never returning them. Between the wife and I, we can count 4 or 5 cds that we know we had during that summer, but that we haven't seen since. So this leads me to this PURELY HYPOTHETICAL dilemma...

Suppose there was some music that you had absolutely positively spent real money to purchase (suppose you even still had the cd cases) but that through no real fault of your own you were no longer in possession of said music. And suppose the interwebs had a way for acquiring that music without having to pay for it again. Is it ok to use the interwebs to reacquire that music?

My theory was that it would HYPOTHETICALLY be ok. The wife's theory was that if you bought a coat and then someone stole it from you, that wouldn't mean you were entitled to a free coat. I agreed that you shouldn't be able to steal a coat from a store, but if you could somehow download the coat over the interweb, it would be ok.

Her stupid coat analogy really made me think. Sometimes I hate thinking.

In the end, since this was a PURELY HYPOTHETICAL dilemma, obviously no action was taken. But still I wonder... would it be ok? And where can I download a coat?

Thursday, August 17th

Day 56, Session 20:
Location: Thursday after work? That's practically Friday!
First song: Baby I Love You by Natalie Merchant
Last full song: Back in N.Y.C. by Jeff Buckley
Progress: 272-280 of 3960
Total Songs Heard: 272

All Baby and Back tunes today. In case you didn't know, Travis does an outstanding cover of Britney Spears Greatest Hit Baby One More Time. The way they did it makes it sound like a serious musical effort instead of piece of ultra-disposable pop. Well ok, the band may or may not be drunk when they're performing it, so maybe serious musical effort isn't the right phrase, but it still sounds better than Britney. I'm guessing, however, that the guys from Travis don't look nearly as good in a school girl outfit.

Back by Barenaked Ladies is now the song that I hope to hear from them in concert. I've probably seen BNL 10 times in concert, but I've never heard them play Back. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm ever going to get to see it. The wife and I have given up going to see them after our last experience at a BNL concert.

We were in the balcony and pretty far from the stage. In fact, we were so far from the stage, that the two drunk suburban women behind us forgot they were even at the show. They spent the entire time talking to each other and they were LOUD.

Think back to 3 entries ago... when I talked about how I used to sing along at concerts. At least I was singing along, never trying to talk over the band. Being dumb, I didn't go inform the usher of this situation. Instead, at some point, after shooting about a thousand dirty looks their way, I turned around and kindly requested that they please shut the fuck up. They responded a few minutes later by "accidentally" spilling a beer on my wife. (Beer their drunk asses never should have been sold in the first place.) Once the wife convinced me not to throw both of their gross leathery hides down the stairs, we seethed our way through the rest of the show. When the final lights came up, I turned around and absolutely lit into them. The drunker one's response was to grab me by the arm and tell me she was getting security. I invited her to please go ahead as the wife started polling people around us to confirm that they had seen the woman intentionally spill beer on her. Sadly, the slightly less disgusting troll pulled her friend away just before security could get there.

You might be wondering what all this has to do with the song Back. The song is about a guy who trips over a pair of shoes, falls down the stairs, and breaks his back. As they were bumbling their way up the stairs through the crowd and making their escape, I thought that was the least those bitches deserved.

BTW, if anyone thought of Chili's when I started this post by saying it was all Baby and Back... shame on you.

Tuesday July 18th - Morning

Day 26, Session 12:
Location: Going to work in the morning after a solid 13 day delay in moving through the alphabet
First song: Aluminum by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: American Made by Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band
Progress: 167-176 of 3937

Why did I wait 13 days between listening sessions, did some horrible accident befall my ears?

No accidents thankfully. One of the main exercises for this whole project is to prove to myself that I can write all the way through it. So, things got busy/I got lazy and I've fallen seriously behind on my entries. I'm forcing myself to slow down moving forward through the music. If I get much further behind, then I won't remember what it was I was listening to and how am I supposed to reflect on things I can't really remember (cause they happened more than 3 days ago and my short term memory is shot.)

If you're particularly observant you'll notice that the progress count has gone backwards as has the total number of songs. As this goes on I'm constantly adding and deleting files from the iPod (mostly do to the disposible nature of podcasts.) It occurs to me now that I should probably keep a running count of how many tracks I've actually listened to. I'll be right back. While I'm gone try to wrap your mind around the thought of a singing Hulk Hogan...

Total Songs Heard To Date: 180!

Hooray, another stat! I love stats.

The song Aluminum contains the line "Aluminum to me, aluminium to some..." The summer after 7th grade I went for my only experience at summer camp up in the Poconos. One of my cabin's counselors was a guy from New Zealand (I think his name was Darren) who insisted that the material soda cans are made out of was pronounced "ah-lou-min-ee-um." At the time I thought that meant everyone from New Zealand was nuts.

Flash ahead slightly to an 8th grade science quiz on the periodic table. Just before class my friends and I were reviewing the periodic table that was hanging in the classroom. On the chart, aluminum was spelled aluminium, thus showing me that perhaps Kiwis weren't so crazy after all. So, since that was what we had just looked at moments before taking the quiz, my friends and I all spelled it aluminium on the quiz. Mr. Decampli (who was not well liked) marked it wrong on all of our quizzes. When we pointed out that the periodic chart in HIS CLASSROOM showed it spelled as aluminium, he accused us all of cheating by looking at the chart during the test. I remember being very angry about the injustice of it all at the time.

Looking back on it years later... I'm still very angry! IT WAS HANGING IN HIS CLASSROOM! IF IT WAS WRONG WHY WAS HE DISPLAYING IT!!!!!