from For the Widows to Free Ride

Day 515, Session 99:
When/Where: Saturday November 17th - At home while watching college football and playing a round of golf.
First song: For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti by Sufjan Stevens
Last full song: Free Ride by Nick Drake
Progress: 1441-1465 of 5472
Total Songs Heard: 1181

I'm off to Nashville to eat some southern fried bird and attend the last of my old college roommate's weddings. There will be a proper post about this set of songs later, but for now, I would just like to point out that I was right all along!

"John Mayer is an insufferable douchebag!"

Just remember, even though you're just reading about it on TMZ now, you heard it here first. I'd like to think one of the sites that led Mr. Mayer to his conclusion was this one (but probably not.) Thanks to Rachel for the heads up.

Proper posting resumes next week, when I discuss why the song Frank's 2000-Inch TV makes me both happy and jealous.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Frank's 2000-Inch TV - Weird Al Yankovic

Tuesday November 14th - morning

Day 145, Session 50:
Location: At the desk.
First song: City Love by John Mayer
Last full song: Close the Door by Clem Snide
Progress: 660-672 of 4474
Total Songs Heard: 587

GAP! 18 days since the last listening session, but with good reason. This was three days before opening night. I'd spent the last 18 days worth of train rides desperately trying to memorize my lines. Turns out it was a wise decision. I was able to remember all the lines I needed to for the play I was in. Well, at least most nights.

John Mayer is back being evil again. What a fucking jerk. He sings this entire sensitive guy song about how he can't remember life before he knew his new city love's name... only he never mentions her name! You know why he never mentions it? Because he doesn't remember what the hell it is. Because he's making her up! And why did he make her up? So he could use his sensitive singing man act to try to steal your girlfriend! He's trying to woo her again! This is what John Mayer does. Mayer is sure that this routine will work that he doesn't even feel bad about throwing in this gem about how commitment phobic he is:

She keeps her toothbrush at my place,
As if I had the extra space.

Hello? Ladies? He doesn't even have room for woman's toothbrush in his precious John Mayer space. Cause John Mayer is all about John Mayer... and hitting on other guy's girlfriends. Don't be the next one to fall for his smooth sensitive man ways!

Friday September 29th - Evening

Day 99, Session 31:
Location: Since it was Friday night I was obviously taking the train home before a night of wild partying.
First song: Black & White by Sarah McLachlan
Last full song: Bleecker Street by Simon & Garfunkel
Progress: 429-438 of 4413
Total Songs Heard: 378

John Mayer is at it again.

So I "heard" two different songs today called Blank. One was "by" Wilco and it exactly matched what you expected from a song titled Blank. It was 25 seconds or so of silence.

The second song called Blank was by one Mr. John Mayer. You may remember him from an earlier post where he brought his guitar to a party so that he could eventually hit on your girlfriend. The theory established in that post was that you can't trust John Mayer. You can probably guess where this is going. Here, in it's entirety, is John Mayer's version of Blank.

John Mayer, what the hell is wrong with you? You can't even stop playing your damn guitar for 4 seconds! How am I supposed to trust you not to hit on my girlfriend when you can't even quit playing your damn guitar for 4 damn seconds!? Be on the look out for this guy people, he's a liar and he wants everything that's yours.

Tuesday September 12th - Morning

Day 82, Session 22:
Location: On the way to work... for once.
First song: Back To You by John Mayer
Last full song: Barcelona by Jewel (yes, more Jewel)
Progress: 294-303 of 4293
Total Songs Heard: 285

I'm not quite sure why I didn't vigorously jump on the John Mayer bandwagon. He would seem to make the type of music that hits pretty close to my musical wheelhouse. Laid back singer/songwriter type... I think the thing that drove me away from Mr. Mayer is that the girls all seemed to fawn over him. He seems too much like the guy who would bring the guitar to the party. Now there's not necessarily anything wrong with that guy, if he's bringing the guitar to the party cause he just wants to jam. John Mayer seems more like the guy who would bring the guitar to the party because he knew all the chicks would gather round to watch him play. The guys of course would follow the girls, cause that's what we do. Eventually though, all the other guys would leave the circle cause they were tired of the sensitive singer/songwriter bit, and when the other guys left John Mayer would hit on your girlfriend.