from I'm Having A Heart Attack to I'm So Afraid

Day 758, Session 132:
When/Where: Thursday July 17th - Back and forth to the Gold Coast to drop off some abandoned items.
First song: I'm Having A Heart Attack by They Might Be Giants
Last full song: I'm So Afraid by Fleetwood Mac
Progress: 2136-2150 of 6066
Total Songs Heard: 1668

All "I'm" songs today. So let's see if they apply:

I'm Having A Heart Attack - They Might Be Giants: When I was still living in Dayton I spent an entire day sitting on the couch having chest pains every time I took a breath. Since I'm still here, I'm pretty sure I was not having a heart attack.

I'm Having A Party - Jonathan Coulton: I can't think of the last time I actually had a party at home (like in the song.) We'll occasionally have some people over, but never enough to have a full fledged party. The last party I was involved with was the Wing Night flip cup tournament at The Playground. It actually went really well. Maybe I should have more parties.

I'm Just A Bill (x2) - Deluxx Folk Implosion & Jack Sheldon: I don't mean to tell you how to educate your kids (you know, if anyone reading this actually had kids) but you could do a lot worse than using Schoolhouse Rocks. I'm sure I learned about the process of how a bill becomes law in school, but I remember the process because of this song. (They should probably record a new version that mentions how the doesn't necessarily have to obey the new law. Hooray for presidential signing statements. Viva La Bush!)

I'm Looking Through You - The Wallflowers: I've often wondered what having the power of x-ray vision would be like. Would you constantly have to adjust the amount of x-rayness you're using? Sure seeing through that hot chick's t-shirt might be cool, but seeing through to her muscular-skeletal structure, not so much.

I'm Nice - Wally Pleasant: I struggle with this one. On one hand, I'm nicer than people who would generally be described as assholes. On hand the other, I'm always very aware that there are nicer people than me around. I wish I was nicer and have on occasion made efforts to be so. The problem lies in my sense of humor. Humorous words often escape my mouth before they've had a chance to run through the censor in my brain. Those words are not always nice, or at least they seem that way if you don't get the fact that I'm just being funny. So yeah, I wish I were nicer... or that other people were smarter so they could understand me better. Idiots.

(I'm Not In) Prison - The Jayhawks: I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today - Avenue Q: (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone - The Monkees: I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen: True. False. True. False.

I'm Only Sleeping - The Vines: Most of the time when I dream, I'm aware that it's a dream. If a dream starts to get uncomfortable, I will either take control of the situation or remind myself that I'm only sleeping. This has not prevented me from being crushed by killer robots in my dreams, but I believe it has kept that dream death from carrying over into real life.

I'm Outlived By That Thing? - Crash Test Dummies: I'm just going to assume Crash Test Dummies were watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel when writing this song and therefore "That Thing" = Shark. Sharks have been the practically the same for 100 million years. Homo Sapiens have been around for about 250,000. Unless we manage to extinct them completely we'll be outlived by sharks.

I'm Sensitive - Jewel: As much as it pains me to admit it... I am sensitive. Seriously. I know I don't come off that way, but I'm probably half a step away from openly weeping right now. Oh shit! Here comes that Applebee's commercial again!

I'm So Afraid (x2) - Fleetwood Mac: I'm so afraid of posting this and revealing my terrible secret about the Applebee's commercial.

from Heaven to Hello City

Day 624, Session 115:
When/Where: Wednesday March 5th - "Liveblogging" through some afternoon chores
First song: Heaven (Live) by The Swimmers
Last full song: Hello City (Live) by Barenaked Ladies
Progress: 1857-1867 of 5831
Total Songs Heard: 1480

Back after a few days of recovering from my totally whack-a-do Saturday night. I'm efforting to live blog my way through today's tunes... so until the Last Full Song section above is filled in, feel free to check back to see what I can write with less than the space of a song to think about it.

2:16 - Heaven (Live) by The Swimmers - "Heaven is the town we grew up, all our friends around..." A great little tune from The Swimmers who coincidentally are from the town where I grew up, Philadelphia. I think a lot of people would be disappointed if heaven ended up being the town where they grew up. Not me. I like where I grew up, and liked that period of my life. I wouldn't mind trying it again with some of the wisdom I've gained since leaving. The Swimmers first full length cd came out yesterday. I'll be taking a listen at some point.

2:20 - Heaven Alive by Oceansize - The last of the short run of heaven related songs. Unfortunately it's at the bottom of the list which would go like this: 1. Heaven by The Swimmers 2. Heaven by Warrant (still a surprisingly good song) 3. Heaven by Better Than Ezra 4. Heaven Alive.

2:26 - Heavy Metal Drummer (Live) by Wilco - Chicago's Wilco recently completed a 5 night "residence" at the Riviera Theater here in town. The cool thing about being in Chicago is that Wilco will come here and play 5 nights in a row. The not cool thing is that everyone in Chicago LOVES Wilco, which makes it practically impossible to get tickets, even if they're here for 5 straight nights. Luckily, Heather over at Fuel Friends had it covered with a link to a live recording of night 5. I suggest you get over there soon and check it out before it disappears.

2:33 - Heavy Metal Drummer by Wilco - The album version, also awesome.

2:37 - Heist by Ben Folds - From the soundtrack to the movie "Over The Hedge" which was a passable film on its own merits that was pushed into the enjoyable realm for me due the fact that Ben Folds was heavily featured on the soundtrack. It's currently in rotation on HBO and the animation looks pretty sweet in HD. Don't go out of your way to watch it or anything, but if it happens to be on and you can't get to the remote you shouldn't have to poke your eyes out.

2:40 - Helicopters by Barenaked Ladies - Back in my radio days we were invited to a special preview of the Dayton Air Show (which is a really big deal around Dayton.) My two morning show co-hosts and I were each given a ride in one of three stunt helicopters that would be flying during the show. Just being in a helicopter was quite an experience. Then they started doing their formation flying. Weaving in and out of the other two copters was quite an exhilarating experience. I watched the scariest stunt from the safety of my copter, one of the other guys went way up in the air then killed the engine and free fell. During the fall the engine restarted and the copter started hovering safely again after falling about 90% of the way to the ground. It probably would have taken me 20 minutes to locate my stomach after a trick like that. I'm pretty sure the pilots did it 10 times that day.

2:45 - Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers - I took too long typing that helicopter story and now don't have time to say anything about this song. Except to say that for such opposite concepts, the words Heaven and Hell are pretty close to each other alphabetically.

2:49 - Hell Is Chrome by Wilco - Figures... right after writing about how much everyone in Chicago loves Wilco, I immediately come to another Wilco song. Actually, to be honest, I didn't love this cd (A Ghost Is Born) nearly as much as I loved Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I've owned A Ghost Is Born since it first came out and this is probably only the 3rd or 4th time I've heard this song.

2:54 - Hello by Oasis - I very much enjoyed Oasis when What's The Story Morning Glory came out. I realize they were criticized for sounding too much like The Beatles, but... well... what's so bad about that? The Beatles were awesome, but the only thing time they're getting back together is for a heavenly reunion tour once Paul dies. Of course, unlike The Beatles, Oasis has done very little for me outside of one cd.

2:58 - Hello City by Barenaked Ladies - Track one of Barenaked Ladies first cd Gordon. I was hooked immediately. Apparently Hello City refers to Halifax, Nova Scotia. My favorite line: "Hello City, you've found an enemy in me." I don't think I have any enemy cities. I mean sure, I hate all the sports teams from New York, but now that my sister lives there I can't exactly hate the city.

3:01 - Hello City (Live) by Barenaked Ladies - Same song live from the Rock Spectacle cd.

Ok, got to wrap it up here for now as I've got another project I need to start working on.

from Ghost to Giving It All To You

Day 568, Session 105:
When/Where: Wednesday January 9th - Round and about the streets of Chicago.
First song: Ghost by Neutral Milk Hotel
Last full song: Giving It All To You by Oval Opus
Progress: 1568-1594 of 5624
Total Songs Heard: 1269

So much to write about. 2008 started out right as I've upgraded my headphone situation. Thanks to my friend Liv, I'm now doing all my listening with Bose in-ear headphones. I'm not exactly an audiophile, but these headphones are awesome. They provide a much richer sound. (can sound be rich? sure, why not?) The ear buds are also designed to go further into your earhole without being uncomfortable. The result? I can actually listen to things with the volume turned down lower. Anywho, the moral of this story is if you do a lot of headphone listening, you should definitely look into some fine Bose products. They're worth it.

Now to the music. Neutral Milk Hotel's 1998 cd "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" is all sorts of fantastic (and another one of those music groups that is actually only one guy.) I bought the cd in 2005 while on my honeymoon in San Francisco. Every time I hear a NMH song I flash back to that trip and how great a time it was. For one, it was great because the wedding went off with out a hitch. If you've never been married, let me tell you, a big part of that great honeymoon feeling is relief that the months and months of pre-wedding stress are over. For two, the wife and I had never been to San Francisco before (together anyway,) so it was great to start our "new life" with a trip where everything we were experiencing was new for both of us.

The only downside of the memories... any prolonged thoughts of San Francisco cause ghost soreness in my calves. That town is hilly, and we did a lot of walking. My legs were pissed for days. Ghost is my second favorite song off the cd (and the new headphones really do the buzzing bass justice.)

Ghost - Neutral Milk Hotel

Once I was done my acid trip honeymoon flashbacks my attention turned to the three different versions of Gin And Juice. Three completely different versions of the same song? It's time for a breakdown.

Gin And Juice (original rap) vs. Gin And Juice (country) vs. Gin And Juice (spoken word)

Most street cred:
Original rap version is the winner here since I live in a city. I suppose this sort of depends on your locale. If you live on a farm, you may get more cred with the country version blasting from the speakers of your John Deere. (Tractors have speakers right?)

Most fun to sing along with:
Country version. Country wins by default here. It's really hard to sing along with a spoken word song, and I don't think you rap a duet with Snoop unless Snoop asks you too.

Best chance to understand the lyrics:
Spoken word version. It's not that either of the other versions are particularly hard to understand, but the slow steady delivery of the spoken word version clears up an issues you may have had with the lyrics.

Best at getting to the point:
Snoop doesn't have time for extended banjo breaks or long dramatic pauses. He's got hos to get to.

Best use of extended banjo break outs:
Country version. I know I just awarded Snoop points for the lack of banjo breaks, but the banjo breaks in the country version are fantastic. One more reason I may take banjo lessons in 2008.

Most fun:
Country version. Sipping on Gin And Juice should be a fun time for everyone. Snoop just doesn't seem like he's having as much fun as The Gourds. And sure the spoken word guy is funny, but he doesn't sound like the sort of person I'd enjoy getting my drink on with.

Winner:
Gin And Juice (country version) by The Gourds. In the end, the original is a classic and the spoken word version is funny, but the country version of Gin And Juice is both awesome musically and funny.

Feel free to judge for yourself:
Gin And Juice - Snoop Doggy Dogg
Gin And Juice - The Gourds
Gin And Juice - Beautiful music version (artist unknown)

There were even more stories in this set of songs, including a performance of Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon by the 4 South Five and the night I got whip creamed in the face by the lead singer during a performance of Mink's Girl 17, but I'll save those for the book.

Edited to add - Check it out over on the right ---> I've added a poll so you can vote on your favorite version of Gin And Juice. Feel free to defend your vote in the comments section.

from Farewell to February

Day 440, Session 92:
When/Where: Wednesday September 5th - Post-work/Pre-bowling train ride home.
First song: Farewell And Goodnight by Smashing Pumpkins
Last full song: February by Dar Williams
Progress: 1289-1306 of 5321
Total Songs Heard: 1070

Just a few quick notes from what I heard yesterday:

Every time I hear it, I wish Farewell And Goodnight was a better song. With a title like that it seems like it would a great ending song to a mix tape/cd or, at the very least, would have been a good way to sign off the old Matt & Joey Show when our shift ended at 2am. Unfortunately, it's not that great. It's just kinda there. Attention musicians who read this blog, please record a better song with the title Farewell And Goodnight. Mix cds and late night college radio everywhere need it.

Father & Son by the artist formerly know as Cat Stevens contains one of my favorite ridiculous lines in all of musicdom:

You're still young, that's your fault...

Say what now?!? A father singing to his son is saying that it's the son's fault he's young? How is that possible? You are the age you are. At least until time travel comes along. I mean, if the father really wanted an older son, shouldn't he have gotten about the business of having said son earlier? That way the father could have been singing the same song at the same age, but the kid would be older. That seems like it's the father's fault, not the kid's!

If my Dad ever tried to give me advice and blamed me for the fact that I wouldn't get it because of my youth, I have trouble taking anything else he said seriously.

Oh shit. It just occurred to me that I may not understand that particular line of the song because I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH! Maybe in another 10 or 15 years it will make perfect sense. Remind me to revisit this entry in 2022.

February is one of the saddest songs I know. The lyrics are sad, the music is sad (especially the overriding cello,) the way the lyrics are sung (plaintive? I'm not good with words) sad. All the feelings of a relationship caught in a long slow death spiral equated to the month of my birth. Whether it be an actual romantic relationship, or your feelings towards your job, or a friendship that falls out of touch, eventually it all feels dark and cold and even when you try and dig out of the snow... the next day, it's snowing again.

And February was so long, that it lasted into March...

It really is a fantastic song. (As long as you like contemplative/sad/folky music.) It'll be linked up here later tonight. Here it is:

February - Dar Williams

from Everything Flows to Everything Matters

Day 418, Session 86:
When/Where: Tuesday August 14th - Sitting in the house.
First song: Everything Flows by Teenage Fanclub
Last full song: Everything Matters by Glen Phillips
Progress: 1222-1227 of 5270
Total Songs Heard: 1000

8:20 pm - Song 995:
Everything Flows by Teenage Fanclub
The Teenage Fanclub greatest hits 'cd' that this song is from is the first thing I paid to download from iTunes. Out of the 5000+ songs I have I'd say I've downloaded less than 500 of them. I love me the internet but there's still something about having the physical cd in my hand that I prefer.

8:28 pm - Song 996:
Everything Had Changed by Barenaked Ladies
Oddly enough this song was also downloaded, not through iTunes though. Not illegally either! BNL are close the forefront of the modern music age. They made their most recent cds available for purchase from their own website with no DRM bullshit. Hooray for them. Of course it probably has a lot to do with the fact that they recorded and released this record on their own. They became the fat cat record company, except they decided not to be greedy fat cats. This song is heavy on banjo. I'm getting closer to signing up for banjo lessons. It might be the most ridiculous idea ever, but if I'm ever going to be in a band I have to play something besides violin.

9:00 pm - Song 997:
Everything I Try To Do, Nothing Seems To Turn Out Right by The Decemberists
If you're wondering why I went 30 minutes between songs... I just found banjo lessons I could sign up for. This song I downloaded from another blogger. (Thanks Gena!) Here's a thing I love about the interwebs. I probably would have never heard this song if she hadn't put it on her blog. Now... I'll probably end up buying The Decemberists at some point. Tell me why that doesn't work for the music industry? (Hmmm, somehow this whole count-up is becoming a DRM related rant. Perhaps this ties directly into the title of this song, trying something new doesn't seem to be turning out quite right.)

9:22 pm - Song 998:
Everything In Its Own Time - Indigo Girls
Ugh! I think I just drank a fly! When I came in tonight after work (soaked in sweat after walking the 1.5 miles home from the train station because I was too stubborn to wait for the bus) I must have let a fly in with me. Well, I've been enjoying a cool adult beverage as I listen and type and I'm pretty sure the fly flew into the can. As I slugged down the end of the can something solid ended up in my mouth. I spit back into the can and the solid thing was moving around inside. None of this has anything to do with the Indigo Girls or this song, but I've already told my favorite Indigo Girls story.

9:51 pm - Song 999:
Everything Is - Neutral Milk Hotel
I'm fascinated by musical acts that take on a pseudonym for what is basically a one man operation. Neutral Milk Hotel = Jeff Mangum, Badly Drawn Boy = Damon Gough, Pedro the Lion (a new addition, thanks Bob) = David Bazan. I think I need a pseudonym for this blog. Please leave suggestions in the comments (and don't bother with Badly Written Boy as I've already thought of it.)

10:15 pm - Song 1000:
Everything Matters - Glen Phillips
Here we are. A mere 418 days after it started this project is 1000 songs old. Glen Phillips tells me everything matters, so I'm going to take this moment to be happy with the fact that it's gotten this far. As I've mentioned before, as much as anything else this whole thing is simply an exercise in doing it. As the old saying goes... the first 1000 is the hardest, and we're there.

It should be cake from here on out.

More stats on the first 1000 and another set of songs for your downloading pleasure coming in the next few days.

from Every Moment to Everybody Ready

Day 410, Session 84:
When/Where: Monday August 6th - On the train from work to home.
First song: Every Moment by Clem Snide
Last full song: Everybody Ready by Action Figure Party
Progress: 1173-1185 of 5185
Total Songs Heard: 985

Dear Poison,

While working on a project recently to listen to every song on my iPod, I came across your song Every Rose Has Its Thorn. This song brought back many fond memories of 1988 (ah, 7th grade... did I really call Mr. Ritts (the history teacher) a nazi in the middle of Mr. Batts' English class? Yes. Yes I did.) as well as memories of just about every night of karaoke I've ended up attending since. However, I feel it is my duty (19 years later!?! YIKES!) to inform you of a several very basic issues with some of the main points of your song:

Every rose has its thorn

Actually, if you check here, you'll see that there are several types of roses that don't have any thorns at all. While it is true that at one point every rose did have thorns to protect itself from potential predators (can plants have predators?) through the knowledge of hybrid and selective breeding it is now quite possible to grow a thornless rose. I suppose it's possible that the selective breeding/hybridization process had not yet perfected the thornless rose in 1988, so I'm willing to overlook this error.

Just like every night has its dawn

I'm assuming here that you're using the term "night" to mean the portion of the day that most people use for sleeping and not just any period of darkness. Of course we all know that astronomical polar night (the period that no trace of light can be seen anywhere) occurs for up to 179 days a year at latitudes above 84° 33′, which is exactly 18 degrees within the polar circle, or five and a half degrees from the pole. So in those areas the "night" doesn't necessarily have a dawn. Now perhaps you'll counter with the argument that there are no permanent human settlements at such latitudes. You'd be correct, but there are scientific stations in Antarctica that fall within this area. For those poor scientists, there are quite a few nights without dawns. (Also there are frequent run-ins with alien monsters. Mike, feel free to back me up on this.)

Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song

While I don't have proof that every cowboy doesn't sing a sad sad song. I would assume that only sad cowboys sing sad songs and yet if you google the phrases "happy cowboy" vs. "sad cowboy" you'll find that "happy cowboy" wins 14,300 to 556. There's no way that every one of the 13744 extra happy cowboys sing "sad, sad" songs. (One sad maybe, but not "sad, sad.")

So while I know it was your biggest hit, I find myself now unable to appreciate the song as much now that I know how untrue it is. I look forward to the corrected version on your soon to be released Poison:Revisited cd.

Sincerely,
Matt DiMarco
12-years old in 1988

p.s. What the hell is up with Bret? That dude is creepy now. The very concept of "Rock of Love" is horrifying.

On a completely different note, this set also brought me Everybody Hurts. Now there's a song that maintains the emotional wallop from the first time I heard it. As soon as I hear the first notes of that song I'm brought back to those weird days during the first weeks of college (when I really started listening to that cd) when I hadn't really found my stride and was trying to convince myself that I hadn't made some horrible mistake.

And finally -

Welcome to the 1000th visitor! If you're wondering if it's you, it probably is.

from Downsizing to Dr. Worm

Day 211, Session 74:
When/Where: Friday January 19th - Coming home from work.
First song: Downsizing by Moxy Fruvous
Last full song: Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants
Progress: 1017-1022 of 4808
Total Songs Heard: 869 (1 skipped podcast)

Only 5 songs today:
Downsizing - Moxy Früvous
Downtown Train - Tom Waits
Dr. Jerome (Love Tub, Doctor) - The Bogmen
Dr. Stephen - Stephen Lynch
Dr. Worm - They Might Be Giants

3 songs about doctors? There's only one thing to do.

Dr. Jerome vs. Dr. Stephen vs. Dr. Worm

What type of doctor?
Dr. Jerome is a love tub doctor. I don't know exactly what that is, but it sounds kind of slimy.
Dr. Stephen is a gynecologist. The song is performed by a stand up comedian singing as a gynecologist, that's even slimier.
Dr. Worm is not a real doctor, but he is a real worm. Oscar the Grouch's pet worm was named Slimy.

Representative Lyric:
Dr. Jerome - "When I snap my fingers you'll remove your clothes and climb into the tub with me..."
Dr. Stephen - "There's not a lip that I can't read. A pap that I can't smear..."
Dr. Worm - "Good morning. How are you? I'm Dr. Worm. I'm interested in things. I'm not a real doctor, But I am a real worm; I am an actual worm."

Who would I want as my doctor?
Dr. Jerome seems to have something on his mind other than traditional doctoring. Being a guy, I have very little use for Dr. Stephen. Plus, the idea of a gynecologist who loves the job so much he sings about it seems kind of creepy. Dr. Worm may not be a real doctor, but at least he's up front about it. Anyway, I haven't actually been to the doctor's office in 5 years so I probably don't even need a real doctor. The fact that he's a drummer (and a real worm) is a bonus as I don't currently have any friends who are practicing drummers (or worms.)

Verdict:
Dr. Worm in a landslide. It doesn't hurt at all that I love the song. Back when I used to have to wake up for work at 4:45 in the morning I would use my stereo as a back up alarm. I found that no song was better at waking me up on a positive note than the opening horn section of Dr. Worm.

from Don't Stop Me Now to Double Huey Skit

Day 210, Session 72:
When/Where: Thursday January 18th - Going to work.
First song: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen
Last full song: Double Huey Skit by De La Soul
Progress: 999-1006 of 4802
Total Songs Heard: 856

Only 3 more "don't" songs... since it's the end of an era (4 posts now equals an era) let's look at them in no particular order:

Don't Wanna Be Your Fool - Quiet Riot: Don't want to hear you again. Deleted!

Don't Talk To Strangers - Jonathan Coulton: While I still find this to be reasonably good advice, I have now found that it somewhat limits my ability to make new friends as a 31-year old. When I was a kid, strangers were only the people that I didn't know at all. Now strangers are everyone that I don't already know well. It's hard to get to know more people well when you don't talk to anyone because you don't already know them well. Vicious cycle and all that.

Don't Stop Me Now - Queen: If you haven't seen "Shaun of the Dead" you really should. Who doesn't love zombie fights set to Queen?

from Don't Leave Me to Don't Stop

Day 209, Session 71:
When/Where: Wednesday January 17th - Heading from the office to home.
First song: Don't Leave Me by Blink 182
Last full song: Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac
Progress: 988-998 of 4802
Total Songs Heard: 848

You may be asking yourself, "How many different versions of Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop could one person possibly need?"

Well if you are asking yourself that then first, yikes!, and second, thank goodness you stopped by! I can tell you with absolute certainty that you need 3 versions of Don't Stop.

1) From a Fleetwood Mac greatest hits cd that the wife brought to the marriage.
2) From the live reunion concert cd "The Dance," the reasons for owning we've already discussed.
3) And this is the one you didn't see coming: A cover of the song recorded by Elton John for a Fleetwood Mac tribute cd.

Now listen, I agree that we should all be alarmed by the fact that I have 3 different versions of Don't Stop but... can we all be relieved together that this represents the only appearance of Elton John in my entire musical library?

I was going to do a full breakdown here, but between 3 versions of Don't Stop, 2 songs titled Don't Leave Me, and the strikingly similar Don't Look Back and Don't Look Back (In Anger)... well, you get the idea of how that would have worked.

Sorry if you missed the party. It was a good time. We should be having another one soon, hopefully we'll see you there.

from Don't Fade to Don't Know What You've Got

Day 209, Session 70:
When/Where: Wednesday January 17th - Heading from home to the office.
First song: Don't Fade by Toad the Wet Sprocket
Last full song: Don't Know What You Got by Cinderella
Progress: 980-987 of 4802
Total Songs Heard: 837

8 more tracks telling me things I should not do:

Fade - When I ran track in 8th grade they put me in the distance events, where my lack of speed in the sprints was well hidden by my lack of endurance. I would routinely begin to fade with about a lap and a half to go.

Forget to breathe - This has, luckily, never been a problem. When I was younger I would often marvel at the things your body will unconsciously do for you. I would sometimes sit and think about how difficult it would be to live if you had to think "breathe" every time you wanted to draw a breath or "beat" every time you wanted your heart to pump. When I was really bored (often at church) I would try to see how long I could keep these two thoughts going. I would have died pretty quickly.

Give that girl a gun - I have never handed a gun to a girl.

Give up - I give up constantly. I think this goes hand in hand with being a Philadelphia sports fan. Knowing you're never ever going to win means sometimes it's just a lot easier to give up. There are a few things I will probably never give up: Smoking, since I never plan to start, and drinking, cause I loves me some beer.

Give up on me - I don't believe anyone has ever asked me to not give up on them.

Go - Oh, I've gone... and then she started crying, so I turned around and went back.

Go Away - I went away for college. That seemed to work out.

Know what you got - Cinderella. Man, who doesn't love Cinderella? (Seriously, I was very happy to hear this. Late one night I decided it would be a good idea to download "Metal Ballads." All 4 volumes! I gotta tell you, most of these metal ballads suck! I definitely should have gone with "Monster Ballads." But this song... this song is good.

On a completely unrelated note, if you're reading this blog, you should know that we're having people over tomorrow night for beer and burgers. You're invited.

from Dog Days of August to Don't Drink the Water

Day 196, Session 69:
When/Where: Thursday January 4th - At the desk for the first hour of the work day.
First song: Dog Days of August by Garrison Keillor
Last full song: Don't Drink the Water by Dave Matthews Band
Progress: 961-973 of 4785
Total Songs Heard: 829

Let's get right down to business shall we? Lots of advice coming from these song titles, telling me what not to do. Let's break them down:

Don't - Jewel: Yes, more Jewel. Just Don't? I need a little more clarification than that. Since it's Jewel I'm assuming she means one of two things: a) Don't listen to my music, or 2) Don't keep looking at my bewbs!

Don't Ask Me I'm Only The President - Badly Drawn Boy: Wouldn't be surprised if the current president actually used this answer under oath. I'm pretty sure I agree with BDB here. Let's hope this one is the last.

Don't Ask Me Why - Billy Joel: Ok, I won't ask, I'll just point out here that Christie Brinkley is still bringing it.

Don't be afraid of the dark - Y & T: Thanks guys, I'm not 6. This isn't really a problem anymore. I'm assuming if you're still afraid of the dark Y&T must stand for Young and Terrified.

Don't Be Afraid Of Your Anger - Clem Snide: This is good advice. I am not afraid of my anger. I embrace it. Revel in it even. My goal is to make other people afraid of my anger. I think it's working. You should also know that this song contains a fantastic line:

Don't be afraid of your anger. I'll eat it with mustard and wine.

I have no idea what it means, but it's fantastic.

Don't Change Your Plans - Ben Folds Five: This is advice I did not follow.
Don't Change Your Plans (live) - Ben Folds Five: Ok, technically maybe I did follow the advice of the song, since it specifically advises to not move to LA. Of course I was never really planning on moving to LA.

Don't close your eyes - Kix: I don't know how you guys sleep, but I'm an eye closer.

Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band: I believe in good hydration and generally drink 6-8 cups of water per day, so shut up DMB.
Don't Drink The Water - Dave Matthews Band: What's that you say? There's blood in the water? Ugh, I wish you had told me that 4 cups of AB-Negative ago.

from Depot to Diamonds

Day 180, Session 66:
When/Where: Tuesday December 19th - Evening. Heading home on the train.
First song: Depot Depot by Tom Waits
Last full song: Diamonds On My Windshield by Tom Waits
Progress: 873-883 of 4617
Total Songs Heard: 774

So this worked yesterday, and in my efforts to continue catching up, I'll lazy out again.

Songs from today's session:
Depot Depot - Tom Waits
Description - De La Soul
Desert Winds - John Williams
Desire - Toad The Wet Sprocket
Destination Moon - Dinah Washington
Destination Moon - They Might Be Giants
Devil Boy - Seven Mary Three
Devotion - Weezer
Diamonds and Gold - Tom Waits
Diamonds For Duke - The University of Dayton
Diamonds On My Windshield - Tom Waits

I'd like to include the "Songs Heard" section every day, but it kind of mucks up the look of things. What I really want to do is include it as a expandable list, but I can't for the life of me find an easy way to create something like that in Blogger. I have the feeling I'm out of luck unless I become a lot better at programming. If you have any (simple to implement for an idiot) suggestions let me know.

Let's see, we had two different songs called Destination Moon, so it must be time for another song breakdown!

Destination Moon by Dinah Washington vs. Destination Moon by They Might Be Giants:

What's it about?
Dinah Washington wants some time away with her man. Apparently the moon seemed like the most convenient place to get away. Sure, this doesn't seem practical now, but back when this song was released in 1962 I'm sure moon based honeymoons seemed like something that was just around the corner. I'm not quite sure what TMBG is talking about in this song. But they do give detailed instructions on how to get from your bed to the moon. Perhaps that's the point. Maybe they're saying if you can just get out of bed in the morning, anything is possible.

Representative lyric:
Dinah Washington - "So away we steal in a spacemobile. A supersonic honeymoon. Leave your cares below, pull the switch, let's go! Destination moon."
TMBG - "By rocket to the moon, By airplane to the rocket, By taxi to the airport, By front door to the taxi, By throwing back the blanket, Hanging down the legs"

The music:
Dinah Washington uses a lot more horns. TMBG uses a lot more electric guitar.

Verdict:
As cool as moon based honeymooning seems, it's just not practical, especially with gas prices being what they are these days (something Ms. Washington surely did not foresee in 1962.) Combine that with TMBG's can do attitude and electric guitar and it's as apparent as a full moon on a clear night... They Might Be Giants has the better version of Destination Moon.

Wednesday November 22 - Afternoon

Day 153, Session 55:
Location: On a less crowded than usual train because most folks have already left work because of Thanksgiving, heading towards home.
First song: Concerto No 1 in E major "Spring" Largo e pianissimo sempre by Stuttgart Chamber Orchestra
Last full song: Congratulations by Mink
Progress: 687-699 of 4446
Total Songs Heard: 646

The rest of VIVALDI'S (ugh, so dumb - see last post for more details) The Four Seasons today. Logically it would seem to make sense now to have a four seasons breakdown!

Spring - I like spring, but I don't love spring. Sporting wise, spring is big. My two favorite sporting events happen in spring, the NCAA tournament and the Stanley Cup playoffs. Baseball season starts in spring too. My favorite part of spring is that first warm day each year where it really smells like spring for the first time. The whole feeling associated with that day usually drives me into a manic episode where I feel high (or what I would assume feeling high feels like anyway.) On the downside, I actually prefer snow to rain. I think I've also developed allergies over the past couple of years and spring is no good for that. As far as the music goes, I recognized 2 of the 3 sections of Spring. I'm pretty sure one of them is used in the Fancy Feast cat food commercials.

Summer - Is it weird that I'm not a big fan of summer? Obviously when I was in school summer was great because there was no school, now though where's the advantage to summer? A lot of people like spending time outside... I'm not one of those people. I don't like it hot. Heat and humidity leave me a lot more uncomfortable than cold and wind. I don't like that there's only baseball available. I suppose I like more daylight, but that's not huge for me. I hate bugs and summer is full of bugs, especially bees and those stupid house centipede dealees. Once could kill me and the other is super gross. TV is all reruns, boo! Oh, I do enjoy people watching more in summer, but my bathing suit body isn't what it used to be (not that it was ever anything (unless you like ribs)) so I don't feel as comfortable being people watched in the summer. For the music, I didn't recognize any of the sections of summer, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I like the familiar.

Autumn - Now we're talking. Football! Bugs die! The first crisp air day has a very similar effect on me as that first spring day. I like wearing a wind breaker. Did I mention football? Plus hockey and college basketball both start in Autumn. There's new TV too! Yeah, I'm a big fan of autumn. Summer is usually hectic with weddings and vacations and long nights and time away... autumn it all calms down again and I can settle in at home with a sandwich and watch football. Didn't recognize any of the Autumn music right away.

Winter - You would think being in cold Chicago would make me hate winter. Not so. I like winter. My theory is, no matter how cold it is outside, it's always nice and warm once you're inside again. I enjoy layering sweatshirts and coats and gloves. I even like scarves now (for a long time I thought a scarf was a sign of weakness, oh how the midwest has taught me.) Mostly though, I like holing up. Coming in, shutting out the outside world, plopping down on the couch under a blanket and enjoying my warm space at home. If I have a cup of hot chocolate (and maybe that's got some Bailey's in it) all the better. Oh yeah, and Christmas!!! The winter music was good.

Final tally, my favorite seasons (as inspired by Vivaldi): 1. Autumn 2. Winter 3. Spring 4. Summer
Final tally, favorite among Vivaldi's Four Seasons: 1. Spring 2. Winter 3. Autumn 4. Summer

Monday October 2nd - Evening

Day 102, Session 33:
Location: Once again leaving work after 6 what the fuck? Riding the train home.
First song: Body by The Presidents of the United States of America
Last full song: Books Are Burning by XTC
Progress: 464-475 of 4424
Total Songs Heard: 402

400!

Boo Time by Moxy Fruvous was song number 400. After taking 50 days to get from song 200 to 300, it only took 18 days to get from 300 to 400. That is a much better pace. For more numerical breakdown, please see the previous post.

One of my favorite things when buying a new cd is finding out that there is bonus music included. It's one of the things that just doesn't translate as well when downloading music over the intranets. When you're downloading music you see every track that being sent your way. But when you buy a cd, there's always a chance that the first time you listen to it, you'll be completely surprised by a song that does not appear on the track listings. (Obviously this doesn't apply if the first time you listen to a cd, you're using your computer to listen to it. Seriously, try your new cd in a stereo first, or better yet, listen to it in the car on the way home. Either way, quit ruining the surprise!)

I was a little disappointed that there turned out to be only 3 different songs in my library titled Bonus Track. Although I guess most musicians name every song, that way, if they release more than one cd with a bonus track, they'll know which song to play in concert. If the set list just said Bonus Track it could lead to total musical anarchy if everyone in the band started playing a different song (although I also think this would be kind of cool.)

Here's the three Bonus Tracks I heard:

by the Bogmen - The Bogmen were great because I think I was the only one in my group of friends who liked them at all. "Life Begins At 40 Million" was in heavy rotation in my person collection in 1996. I saw them open for Barenaked Ladies in Cincinnati in spring 1996. We got there kind of late, so all I really remember was seeing their lead singer spinning around and around and around during the last song of their set. For some reason, that was enough reason for me to take a chance on their cd. Bonus Track seems to fit exactly what a bonus track should be, a 51-second instrumental that sounds like an outtake pulled from the studio recordings. It would have been kind of pointless to include as its own track because it doesn't fit into the rest of the cd. But I think the band realized how much fun the track was and wanted to let fans in on it too.

by Jackopierce - There are 2 or 3 Jackopierce songs I like. This isn't really one of them.

by Wally Pleasant - Could have been titled Sunday Morning. Just guitar, banjo and Wally singing about that feeling you have on Sunday morning when you wake up and realize that for a few more hours you can take a step back from the world. It's true too... for those few minutes on Sunday morning responsibility is nil. Your #1 option is to just stay in bed. A few hours earlier and you're trying to live up the freedom of Saturday night. A few hours later, you're perilously close to Monday and having to start all that shit again. But Sunday morning, you can just lay there not worry about anything for a little while.

Man, I really want to go back to bed.

Monday September 25th

Day 95, Session 27:
Location: On the train and at my desk at work.
First song: Between Song Banter by Moxy Fruvous
Last full song: Bikers by Ben Folds Five
Progress: 379-397 of 4316
Total Songs Heard: 348

The wife and I recently became homeowners for the first time. In a development that I'm sure will shock anyone who has owned a place before, not everything has gone smoothly. Turns out our basement takes on water. Yep, takes on water through one of the walls despite the previous owner signing a document saying the basement had never taken on water, and an inspector looking at the walls of the house and saying "no water here." Seeing the water come flooding into our bathroom immediately filled me with two thoughts:

1) This is America, we'll sue! Surely between the previous owner and the inspection company someone should have been up front/noticed the whole water in the basement thing. Sadly, according to our lawyer, unless the cost of fixing the problem is huge, we're basically SOL and should chalk this up to the costs of being a home owner. Personally I think that is bullshit, but I don't have any sort of lawyerin' background, so we're kinda forced to take his word for it.
2) We abandon the house and move! Sure financially this is a horrible idea. I'm pretty sure we're still on the hook for the place even if we do abandon ship. One of today's songs however gave me an idea of where we could go. Before we do take this radical plan, I thought it would be best to come up with a list of pros and cons for moving to Big Rock Candy Mountain. (BRCM from here on out.)

One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning
Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains
So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Con- "A land that's far away" - we live about a 6 hour drive from the parents now, it'd be nice to live a little closer to family. A land that's far away sounds farther away.
Pro- "beside the crystal fountains" - Crystal fountains sound nice, would probably raise local real estate values making eventual resale easier.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees
Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Pro- "land that's fair and bright" - Assuming they're talking about the weather, who could complain about fair and bright?
Pro/Con- "handouts grow on bushes" - Less panhandlers is good, but I'm not sure how the larger ramifications of a bush based economy would work.
Con- "you sleep out every night" - I like sleeping indoors.
Con- "the boxcars all are empty" - It sounds as though there may be bandits on the way to BRCM which are robbing the boxcars. May also indicate mafia presence in town. Either way, someone was waiting for what was supposed to be in those boxcars, now it's gone.
Pro- "and the sun shines everyday On the birds" - Again, sunshine is good, and who doesn't like birds.
Con- "and the bees" - I've long been an advocate of bee eradication. Bees in BRCM allows the eventuality that those bees will cross breed with Africanized Killer Bees. Nobody wants killer bees in their town.
Con- "and the cigarette trees" - Smoking is gross.
Pro- "Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings" I like singing bluebirds and, while I'm not a huge lemonade fan, who could argue with lemonade coming straight from springs? Unless you're worried about the potential soil instabilities that the root systems of an underground crop of lemon trees could cause, then this could be a Con.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Con- "In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs" - With the previously alluded to crime problems in BRCM and the surrounding area, I'd like able bodied cops around should problems arise.
Con- "And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs" - I've never had any problems with bulldogs so I see pulling and replacing their teeth to be unnecessarily cruel. Soft-boiled eggs? First of all yuck, I prefer fried or scrambled. Second, I'm assuming if the eggs come out pre-soft-boiled I wouldn't be able to use them in recipes. What if I want to bake brownies or make a cake?
Pro- "The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay" Nothing wrong with either of these things.
Con Con Con- "Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow" - What?? I was all for the general nice weather in BRCM, but this is going too far. I like the occasional rain, and I love a nice snowstorm every once in a while. I like my life with seasons. If I wanted warm and sunny every single day, I'd move to Arizona. I suppose the fact that the wind don't blow makes it very difficult for different weather fronts to move in.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Con- "In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks" - I'm all for being lazy about socks but after 3 or 4 days mine really start to stink. Mulitply my sock stink by the population of BRCM... ewwww.
Pro!- "And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks" - Holy shit. Alcohol streams? The strongest pro-BRCM argument yet.
Pro/Con- "The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind" - Polite brakemen, good. Blind bulls near the railroad tracks, possibly bad for both train and bull.
Pro- "There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too" - When I was kid I didn't much like stew, but now I occasionally will indulge in stew. When I was a kid I liked whiskey. Now I love it and indulge as often as my liver will allow.
Con- "You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe" - I don't think paddling a canoe through my dinner and after dinner drink is particularly sanitary.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Con- "In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in" - With the obvious crime problems in BRCM we'll need strong jails to keep the criminals in. Add in the quick and easy availability to alcohol and you'll also need some strong drunk tanks to allow folks to sleep it off. Tin jails serve neither of these purposes. These rampant crime issues should more than offset any property value bumps from the crystal fountains.
Pro- "There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks" - As long as they still have the internet, I'm ok with the lack of hand tools.
Con- "I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day" - Another sad wave at the fact that I'm getting older. Once upon a time sleeping all day seemed like a fine idea. Now, I want to spend as little time possible sleeping. There's too much playing to do to spend all day in bed.
Pro- "Where they hung the jerk that invented work" - Working is teh suck and interferes more with playing than sleep does. I'm all in favor of hanging the guy who invented it.

I'll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains

No, you won't. Upon further review, even with the current water in the basement problems, I believe I'm still better off staying in my current home. While it is tough to deny the BRCM pros of easy and easier access to alcohol, the cons of an unsustainable economic model as well as an apparent tolerance, even encouragement, of lawlessness make BRMC sound like a risky proposition for building a future.

Wednesday September 20th

Day 90, Session 26:
Location: Wednesday morning at the desk.
First song: Believer by Ben Kweller
Last full song: Better Than It Was by Fastball
Progress: 362-377 of 4293
Total Songs Heard: 329

Number of the day: 5. 5 songs that started their title with the word "Better." Two of those songs were actually called Better.

Now I attempt to answer the question, which is the better Better?

Better by Clem Snide vs. Better by Jonathan Coulton (Available online here. Download it, it's totally legal!) Time for a best of 3 showdown!

What's it about?
Both songs are about a relationship. Clem Snide's song is about how two people in a relationship are better together. Coulton's song is about how he liked his girlfriend better before she bettered herself by having a bunch of cybernetic implants added. In other words, both pieces explore classic musical themes. I'm going to have to give a small advantage to the Clem Snide song because I haven't yet had the occasion to have a discussion with someone about their cybernetic implants.

Representative lyric:
Clem Snide - "Hours are like little rocks, stuck in your shoes. Ours is a love so strong, it'll see us through."
Jonathan Coulton - "And you look like the victim of a surgical crime, a little Darth Vader, a little Optimus Prime. You used to be OK and I liked you that way, but I don’t think that I like you better"
Referencing Darth Vader and Optimus Prime? Advantage Coulton.

The music:
Clem Snide - By the end of the song it's a full fledged guitar/cello(!?!) break down. You wouldn't think it'd be possible to rock with a cello. This song proves otherwise.
Jonathan Coulton - Catchy guitar strumming, but it's the lyrics that drive this one more that the hook. Advantage Clem Snide.

So in this very scientific breakdown, it appears the better Better belongs to Eef and the guys from Clem Snide, but just by a bit. Unless I had to sing one of these at karaoke. Then I'm taking Coulton.

Monday - The Rest of the Day

Day 4, Session 3:
Location: At work and then on the way home from a long terrible Monday.
First song: 1000 Hours by Green Day
Last full song: Abandoning the Set List by Moxy Fruvous
Progress: 33-84 of 3962

We've finally reached the alphabet! The first song that starts with a letter? A Boozehound Named Barney from one of The Simpsons soundtracks.

Can I be a boozehound?
Not 'til you're fifteen.

I ran through all the songs that had years for titles. Here are my thoughts on those years:

1974 by Ryan Adams - I wasn't born yet. My parents weren't even married yet. The Flyers won the first of their two Stanley Cups though, so 1974 must have been a good year.
1979 by Smashing Pumpkins - I went to nursery school. Perhaps my oldest memory of all involves nursery school. We were sitting in the upstairs classroom passing the hilarious joke of the day back and forth. The joke? "Guess what?" "That's what!" It passed for hilarity back in the day.
83 by John Mayer - My younger sister was born in 1983. Technically both of my sisters are younger... so I guess my youngest sister was born 1983. This is also the last year a Philadelphia team won a title. We've reached the point where no one in my family believes this a coincidence anymore.
1989 by Clem Snide - My first "girlfriend" "broke up" with me in 1989. The quotes are there for a reason.

The other favorite note from this set of songs, the song A Conjunction of Drones Simulating the Way In Which Sufjan Stevens Has an Existential Crisis In the Great Godfrey Maze by Sufjan Stevens is only 19 seconds long. The title is so long and the song so short, that there is not time for the full title to scroll across the ipod screen.