from I Guess He'd Rather... to I Know

Day 825, Session 138:
When/Where: Monday September 22nd - Walking around Jewel singing along and drawing strange looks.
First song: I Guess He'd Rather Be In Colorado by John Denver
Last full song: I Know by Barenaked Ladies
Progress: 2132-2148 of 6088
Total Songs Heard: 1766

Warning: The following post contains (more) adult language (than you'll usually find here).

Opening statement: Although the song and story featured today may indicate a dislike for the police, that is not the case. Except for the two mentioned below, I have no problem with the real police (I don't count dayton campus security as the real police.) The jerks that give you parking tickets in Chicago are not the police, but the Department of Revenue. If there were a song about how much I hated the Department of Revenue, I'd agree with it. Back to the cops... I generally like them. I've been on an improv team with a cop. I performed a cop's wedding. So 99% of the time me and cops get along great. But this one time...

A little research on the web tells me that it was November 2nd, 2001. It was a Friday night. It had been a long day at work, so while Kaylor (my roommate) and The Girlfriend and a few others had already headed out for the evenings festivities, I decided to stay home for a while and rest up. I probably wouldn't have gone out at all, but we were heading over to IO to catch a midnight show featuring one of the The Girlfriend's friends from high school.

I changed into the most expensive piece of clothing I owned: a shirt from Tank's Bar in Dayton. (The shirt was so expensive because it was your reward for drinking your way around the world of their imported beer selection. 45 beers at around $4.50 a pop... you're right around $200 (I didn't own a suit.)) The shirt featured flags of various countries from around the world running down the sleeves. Around 11 I headed out the door.

It was a cool-ish night so I stuck my hands in my pockets to keep warm and walked with a bit of pace. I was about half a block from my apartment when a car came roaring up behind me and screeched to a stop half up on the curb. I turned around to look as a guy jumped out of the car and yelled, "Hey you, get the fuck over here!"

I decided I most certainly was not going to go join that gentleman and turned around to continue walking. At this point a second guy jumped out of the passenger side and yelled, "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

At this point I turned around again and noticed that both guys who had jumped out of the car were pointing guns at me.

These are the thoughts that go through your head when you have two guns pointed at you:

"Should I yell for help? Wait, I read somewhere that people don't pay attention if you yell help. I think maybe I'm supposed to yell 'fire!'"
"If I run, I at least have a chance to get away. If I go to the car they can grab me and throw me in."
"Should I run straight down the street because that would be the fastest way to get to a more populated street or attempt to cut between houses because that would provide more cover?"
"While I run, is there a way I can make one part of my body an easier target? I've heard getting shot in the shoulder or the butt isn't too bad. How can I run in a way that makes my shoulder look like an inviting target?"
"Thank goodness my health insurance went into effect immediately, getting shot will involve a lot of medical bills."

As all these thoughts go through my head, I continue standing there facing these two guys with my hands in my pockets. Meanwhile, the two guys continue to scream every obscenity in the book at me. In fact, they are screaming over each other so much that it takes me several more seconds to figure out that they're instructing me to, "Take your fucking hands out of your fucking pockets and put them on the fucking car asshole!"

Finally, it occurs to me that these guys must be cops. Plain clothes cops. In an unmarked car. Who didn't actually identify themselves as the police before they pulled their guns. Who, come to think of it, still haven't clearly identified themselves.

Now I'm mad. The adrenaline that was released when I saw the guns has turned that anger into something closer to rage. If I hadn't managed to keep my head long enough to pull my hands out of my pockets slowly, I might not be here today to type up this story. As soon as my hands were out of my pockets though, I decided it was time to yell back.

"Show me a motherfucking badge!" I yell as loudly as I can. I continue to yell this as loudly as I can, over and over, as I work my way slowly over to their car. They never do show me a badge, but at this point I'm sure if they were going to rob me they'd be quicker about it. They still have their guns on me.

I put my hands on the car. At this point the fat one (in my mind he immediately becomes Sipowicz) asks me, "Why did you have your hands in your motherfucking pockets? Where do you live?"

"Right over there," I answered. "I'd point at it, but that would require me taking my hands off the car."

"Do you have anything stupid in your pockets?" the other one asks as he prepares to frisk me.

"That depends on your feelings about Altoids." I reply.

As skinnier cop pulls out all the stupid stuff in my pockets (keys, wallet, and yes Altoids) Sipowicz asks, "Why didn't you come over when we told you? You could have got shot."

"Why didn't you identify yourselves as police?" I reply. He doesn't answer.

Non-Sipowicz gets on the radio, "We've got a Caucasian male in a long sleeve shirt with writings on the sleeve around the area of that home invasion."

Radio: "We're looking for a hispanic male in a plain green sweatshirt."

Cops: *silence*

Me: "Well that doesn't sound like me."

Sipowicz: "You can go. Next time don't walk with your hands in your pockets."

Me: "Next time identify yourselves before you pull your guns. I want your names and your badge numbers."

Sipowicz (heading back to the car:) "You're not going to get that."

Me: "Well how about a motherfucking apology you assholes!"

I didn't get that either.

I Hate Cops - Wally Pleasant

from Drum Trip to Dust Mites

Day 217, Session 77:
When/Where: Thursday January 25th - On a late train home.
First song: Drum Trip by Rusted Root
Last full song: Dust Mites by Heywood Banks
Progress: 1041-1050 of 4801
Total Songs Heard: 899

"I will now sell four copies of "The Three EPs" by The Beta Band." - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

Dry The Rain by The Beta Band came up in this set. It's the only song by The Beta Band I've heard. I did not buy "The Three EPs" even though I should have. High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years. In the spirit of the movie, here are my Top 5 reasons that High Fidelity is so great.

5. I loved the book by Nick Hornby. Usually, I get very nervous when books I like are turned into movies. In this case, it worked out very well.
4. It inspired my other (now dead) internet project - BOX5 lists. Over the course of 47 lists my friends and I voted for the top 5 in a variety of topics, ranging from Top 5 Original 13 Colonies (Pennsylvania) to Top 5 Presidents Not Named Washington or Lincoln (William Howard Taft (because he was fat.)) Even though boxleft.com is gone now, I still have almost every list archived. At some point I'll start posting them again.
3. It was filmed in Chicago, where I currently live. Now every time I watch High Fidelity on DVD I can point out all the places I've been.
2. I hosted the Dayton premier of the movie. It was one of the first times in my radio career that I was out from behind the mic and out in front of a crowd. I was surprised by the nice reception I received and more surprised by the fact that some people were actually excited to meet me.
1. It's about guys and relationships and music. Those things kind of resonate with me.

Seriously, name me a better movie about music. I wonder how Rob and Laura are doing these days.

Monday December 18th - Heading Home

Day 179, Session 64:
Location: Leaving the office heading home on the train.
First song: Deadbeat Holiday by Green Day
Last full song: December by Teenage Fanclub
Progress: 848-860 of 4617
Total Songs Heard: 752

Finishing off triple header for the day by listening on the way home.

Dear Chicago by Ryan Adams... I wish I had a story that really went along with this song. I don't. Actually, I pretty much go well against this song. The guy singing this song is very lonely. He misses a woman. He thinks he's falling out of love. My story is pretty much the opposite.

I often wonder how it is exactly that I came to end up in Chicago. I grew up in Philly. I reluctantly moved west to Ohio. I always figured I end up back east and yet here I am, even further west. Living in the third biggest city in the country when I never really considered myself a city guy. Whenever I start wondering how I ended up here though, I come to the answer pretty quickly.

I moved to Chicago to chase The Wife. After college we ended up living about 2 hours away from each other. We managed to get through that way for 2 years. In fact, sitting here right now, I marvel about how nuts that is. How many college relationships last two years, let alone two years apart after the whole college thing is actually done? Eventually she moved here. That took our 2 hours apart to 5 hours apart. And still we managed to endure. (She gets the credit for this, as I am pretty much a dope.) Eventually married. Home owners. Still happy together. Here we are.

This year is 10 years since I met The Wife and 6 years since I moved to Chicago. Both these things are still pretty amazing to me. Anyhow, I'm babbling.

Dear Chicago,
As much as I complain, how lucky have I been?
Your trains and parking regulations still suck,
Matt

Tuesday November 28th - A little later in the morning

Day 159, Session 57:
Location: At the desk at work. Practically the entire morning.
First song: Cowboy Romance by Natalie Merchant
Last full song: Crowing by Toad the Wet Sprocket
Progress: 758-779 of 4546
Total Songs Heard: 682

In college I went through a Dave Matthews phase. I don't think it was just me. I'm pretty sure if you went to college between 1994 and 2000 or so you went through a Dave Matthews phase too. Yeah, I liked the music. It was good to drink to and the ladies liked it. Both of those were good. The problem I had with Dave Matthews was the concerts. It's not that they weren't entertaining in concert, it's just that two of the most awkward days I ever spent were both at DMB concerts.

Summer after sophomore year I was supposed to go to a DMB concert in Columbus with what was supposed to be a large group of friends from college. Unfortunately as the concert grew closer more and more people backed out until it was me, a roommate, his friend from work, a girl from school and her boyfriend from home. Now the fact that this girl's boyfriend was coming along was a bit strange for me because I had spent the better part of the last semester at school flirting with this girl like mad. (Crash Into Me had been our unofficial flirting anthem, except for the last night of the semester when another DMB song took over.) It went from strange to terribly awkward when my roommate and his friend got a late start from Dayton, then got caught in a thunderstorm related traffic jam. Show time drew close and we couldn't wait any longer, so off we went to the show. Me, the girl... and her boyfriend. It was a strained few hours. The girl played it cool, the boyfriend had no idea... I spent a lot of time shifting uncomfortably (luckily it was a DMB concert, so I looked like just another white guy dancing.)

The second DMB concert gone bad occurred the following summer. I started the summer dating the wife's roommate, but that ended pretty quickly. After it ended however, she told me that she had bought a ticket for me to go to a DMB concert with her and her friends from high school (she apparently thought we'd still be together and wanted them to meet me, oops.) I was trying to still stay friendly with her (because I wanted to date her roommate) so, after she turned down my offer to pay for the ticket so she could give it to someone else, I agreed to go.

I was extremely uncomfortable with the whole idea and when she introduced me to her friends as "the guy who dumped me," I started feeling ill. In order to fight off the ill feelings I took some prescription meds that I was on at the time for my bad stomach. I knew I was in for a long day. Unfortunately a little later in the afternoon when my stomach was bothering me again (this time due to an unfortunate lunch choice at Steak & Shake) I took another dose of meds well before I should have. Two side effects of the medication? Increased sensitivity to light and heat. Now double those effects after double dosing and then try to sit in the mid-afternoon sun on a 90 degree July day. Not only was the situation as awkward as could be to begin with, but every minute sitting in the sun made me feel that much closer to passing out. Eventually I wandered off in a daze attempting to find some shade.

45 minutes of wandering later I accepted the fact that I had no idea where on the giant amphitheater lawn my group was seated. I took the best course of action I could think of. I staggered on stage, grabbed Boyd's violin and started playing Vivaldi's Spring. The band hired me to play second violin (my traditional preferred orchestral part) for the rest of the tour. I actually ended up touring with the band for 5 years until that fateful day when my stomach problems kicked up again as we crossed a bridge over the Chicago River. As part of the terms of the court settlement I had to leave the band AND stay in Chicago until my personal income taxes, city fees and parking tickets (mostly parking tickets) had paid off all the fines.

Tuesday October 24th

Day 124, Session 47:
Location: The train, the desk, the first hour at work
First song: Change In Speak by De La Soul
Last full song: Chinese Baby by Clem Snide
Progress: 614-632 of 4508
Total Songs Heard: 546

Two different versions of Chicago by Sufjan Stevens was the big song of the day. Normally having two versions of the same song on the same cd would seem like a waste of time to me. Not in this case. The two songs are different enough that it's justified. Chicago...

I've been in Chicago for 5 and a half years now. I did not arrive in Chicago under the best of circumstances. I had been fired from a job I loved. I had been unemployed for 4 months. Chicago wasn't really on my radar of places to go next except for that one minor point... it's where the girl was. I spent 4 more months unemployed once I moved here, so while I was free for an entire summer in a great city, I was also broke which meant not a whole lot of actually being able to do anything. And nothing I did! I had a standing date with the television every day for 4 or 5 hours.

I tried to jump into the improv scene in town, but I found a few problems... 1) I had never done any improv before and there was no improv at UD so 2) I wasn't very good and 3) I wasn't very good at meeting new people. So while the folks I was in class with either had A) preexisting bonds from past improv experience or college, or B) were able to mesh by being good on stage together or at the very least C) had basic people skills, I didn't have any of those things. It left me feeling like an outsider among the group I was with. The only thing better than being an outsider among people you're hanging out with semi-regularly is paying (a lot) for the privilege (when you're already kind of broke.)

(I should note here for the record that as far as I remember, no one actively rejected me or anything. I just wasn't able to make it work. It's possible that people actually didn't like me, but no one ever said so to my face.)

To recap for the first few months in town I had no job, no new real friends and an expensive new hobby that I wasn't very good at.

Eventually I did get a job (which kind of sucked) and then another job (which didn't suck at first, but eventually, unless you're doing something you really love, all jobs suck.) Eventually I made some new friends, but still no one all that close. (Which raises the question of whether it's even possible to make new friends after a certain age.) Eventually I even became not terrible at the whole improv/theater thing. Luckily, the whole reason for moving here (the girl) worked out in the end.

But still... looking back, I'm pretty sure I still haven't gotten over the way I arrived and the first year in this city.

I'm not sure Chicago and I will ever feel good about each other, but now I'm stuck here. Married home owners can not just up and leave any time they feel like it.

So maybe Chicago and I need to reevaluate our relationship. Maybe it's time to (finally) move past the rough start.

I made a lot of mistakes in my mind, in my mind