from I Wish to If I Ever Feel Better

Day 870, Session 144:
When/Where: Thursday November 13th - Car/Post Office/Best Buy/Car
First song: I Wish by Skee Lo
Last full song: If I Ever Feel Better by Phoenix
Progress: 2175-2192 of 6109
Total Songs Heard: 1859

I Wish - Skee Lo
Despite the fact that I'm almost exactly the average height for a white male I think, like Mr. Lo, I will always wish I were a little bit taller. 6 foot even would be awesome, but unless I'm having the world's most delayed growth spurt I don't think that's going to happen.

I'm still bitter that I was ripped off by puberty. Other guys I knew went through growth spurts, adding 5 or 6 inches of height in the course of a few months. I never spurted (and yes, let's all take a moment to giggle at the fact that I just typed that.) I think I was something like 4' 10" when I was 12. 6 years later I had topped out around 5' 9" but at no point during that time did I grow more than 2 or 3 inches in a year. I had one friend who grew 6 inches between the end of one school year and the start of the next. One minute we were approximately the same height, next thing I knew he turned out 6' 6".

Maybe it's a little harder for tall guys to find clothes that fit but that's about the only disadvantage I see. I'm a firm believer that at general admission concerts, there should be a line on the floor that separates the crowd into those under six foot (the front) and those over (the back.) Ladies if your 4-inch heels put you over, it's behind the line for you. (You deserve the back anyway. Who wears 4-inch heels to concert?)

(I became reacquainted with Skee thanks to the flashback inducing "It Came From The Nineties" feature at Can You See The Sunset... If you'd like to share in the time travel, I suggest checking it out.)

I Wish I Could Go Back To College - Avenue Q
It has occurred to me during my period of unemployment that I could go back to college. Unfortunately going back to college would not solve the fundamental question: "What do I want to do with my life?" At this point, people go back to college with a specific goal in mind. Until I have a better idea of what that is, going back to college would be a lot like unemployment only with a lot more textbooks and a tuition bill where there currently isn't one.

If I Could've Been - Working
In case you didn't notice, I'm featuring back to back songs from musicals. You probably didn't notice because if you haven't been in the musical Working, you probably haven't heard of it. It's based on a book of conversations about people's jobs by Studs Terkel (R.I.P.)

As tempting as it is to take this song as another opportunity to complain about the current state of things and what I could've been*, instead I'd like to point out two things:
1) The end of the first verse "A tower of strength, a center of power, for TEN BUCKS AN HOUR." This musical was developed in the '70s. Many of the people featured had jobs at the lower end of the job scale and yet they were still making (and rolling their eyes) at ten bucks an hour! Ten dollars an hour in 1970's money is something like $47.69 an hour now and yet many of the jobs I see everyday in my search for work are still offering $10 an hour**! (and I live in a big city!) I guess what I'm saying is... Where the hell did the economy go completely off the rails (I'm blaming trickle-down Reagan when executive pay started expanding greatly while base employee pay didn't move much) and what the hell is it going to take to get a real living (minimum) wage bill passed in this country??
2) We did this song in my college production with different folks soloing each verse. If you want to try to imagine me on stage pay attention to the second verse. (From "If I could've done..." to "Paid all my bills.) I enter slowly from stage left in my meter reader costume. It sounds just like this except an octave lower***, without any vibrato, and without any of the vocal flourishes. Once my solo is done, I'm going to find a seat and sing the chorus parts as more folks come on stage and we rebuild to the tableau that we started the show with. I loved this show and will surely be mentioning it again in the J's.

*If you've read the whole post you know that if I could've been something different, it would've been taller.
**Which isn't to say that there shouldn't be some $10 jobs. Temporary seasonal employment, fast food, dog walker...sure. It's when I see jobs with titles like "Marketing Associate" and "Executive Assistant" that want a college degree and experience offering $10-12/hr that I shake my head.
***Despite not getting the growth spurt part of puberty I did get one overnight adjustment. I went from pre-pubescent alto to pubescent baritone overnight. Which in retrospect was kind of great. I avoided the whole voice cracking a lot stage, and the juxtaposition of my size vs. my voice's pitch was quite a surprise in the school choruses I performed in back in the day.

from I Was Hoping to I Wish

Day 862, Session 143:
When/Where: Wednesday November 5th - The aisles of Jewel (I never realized before my unemployed stretch how much time one spends in the supermarket.)
First song: I Was Hoping by Alanis Morissette
Last full song: I Wish by King Missile
Progress: 2161-2172 of 6110
Total Songs Heard: 1841

Rambles...

I Was Hoping to get a job with Chicago Public Radio. A friend got my resume looked at, and I ended up with an interview which I thought I nailed. Found out Wednesday I was no longer under consideration for the job. Rats. Believe it or not, this was the first time I've gotten as far as an in person interview where I did not end up getting the job. I was holding that fact as my ace in the hole during this whole employment drought. I figured if I could just get an interview, I'd be back to work shortly. Now I don't even have that going for me.

I Was Only Kidding is one of my favorite Weird Al originals. The gospel choir style opening into the maniacal ranting is exactly the way I would assume the mind of someone who would sing that song would work. And make no mistake, I believe there are guys out there for whom this song is real. There was a time when I considered trying to be one of those guys, just to see what it would be like. I couldn't pull it off. It still makes me mad knowing those guys probably got laid more than I did in college.

I Will - Coulton + Beatles = Good. About halfway through this one I realized I was singing along quite loudly in the pasta aisle.

I Will Be The One - Third Wish was my favorite college band for two reasons: 1) They put on a great show. The music was genuinely good and fun to listen (especially while enjoying a few under-age beers.) 2) Tara Marie O'Malley. I (along with probably every other male in the audience) had a bit of a thing for the band's female singer. They toured the Great Lakes region extensively in the mid-90s, even being named Cleveland's Band of the Year one year, but have since disappeared. Attempting to Google them has taught me one thing: Third Wish is apparently a very popular band name.

I Will Hold On - My favorite song from the last Fruvous cd, although I'm still not quite sure if it's being sung from the point of view of a stalker.

I Will Survive - Cake This may be the greatest cover song ever recorded. It would also probably make a kick ass track on Rock Band. It came on as I reached my car. I transitioned the iPod over to the car stereo, downed the windows and turned it up real loud. (Don't worry, the version I have backmasks the F-word so I wasn't going to offend any of the folks out trying to enjoy the last nice day of the year.) I don't have the Gloria Gaynor version of this song, but I believe it may be THE WORST karaoke song in the history of karaoke. Every time you go, you're guaranteed to see a lady attempt to perform this. 97 of 100 times it is awful.

I Wish - King Missile. I also wish for everything he mentions in this song, especially the part about the tractor of innocence.

from I Lost On Jeopardy to I Love Paris

Day 835, Session 140:
When/Where: Thursday October 2nd - Driving home from a job interview.
First song: I Lost On Jeopardy by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Last full song: I Love Paris by Jack Constanzo
Progress: 2162-2168 of 6112
Total Songs Heard: 1777

First of all: Hooray! Job Interview! I think it went well and the place with which I interviewed would be a good fit. I'm keeping my fingers crossed (well, not now so much, typing with crossed fingers = hard.)

The other good news is that it's only a 7 song drive. Of course I probably wouldn't drive much, parking around Chicago is expensive.

I Love N.Y.E. - Badly Drawn Boy

Great little instrumental from a great little movie, "About A Boy," which is based on the Nick Hornby book. If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, I recommend you do both.

New Year's Eve isn't really a big deal for me, so I was pretty surprised when I sat here thinking about it to realize that I can remember what I was doing each New Year's Eve since 1997 (not coincidentally the first one with The Wife.)

1997/8 - Celebrate back in Philly with Mike, Kristin, and Kerstin. The Wife and I had been dating for a little over 2 months. Meeting my high school friends and Philly family on the trip was a pretty big deal. She passed with flying colors. I have photos from this N.Y.E. that, if I ever bought a scanner, would be sure to amuse the people who were there.
1998/9 - Just me and The Wife in her parents basement in C-bus. We watched a movie, I fell asleep before the ball dropped.
1999/2000 - The big millennium! The Wife and I went out to dinner, and then joined an in progress party at the BOX (my college house.) A loud and fun way to say goodbye to the good ole 1900s.
2000/1 - In Chicago at The Wife's apartment. Just me, her, and her roommate hanging out watching Dick Clark. Kinda lame, er... I mean, quiet.
2002/3 - The Wife and I threw a party at our favorite apartment in Chicago. The Wife made a ton of lasagna and it was delicious. After 'celebrating' (here being code for drinking) all night, Kaylor joined me at 6am as I ran out into the streets of Chicago and berated the sun for 2002 being such a shitty year. This was probably a great start to the year for some of my neighbors as they were awoken at 6 in the morning by the lunatic yellings of a crazy person. Probably the last year in which I was able to actually party all the way through to 6 the next morning.
2003/4 - The Wife and I threw another party at another, not as good apartment. Kaylor (middle,) Jay & Mel, Liz & John (right,) Kate & Ryno, Chip, and Mace were all there. For some reason, my hair was blondish and Jon, John, and I thought it best to welcome 2004 with grimaces on our faces.
2004/5 - The party was at Kaylor's this time. We had dinner and played board games and watched various balls drop.
2005/6 - Maybe this year was at Kaylor's place. Either way I guess I was lying about remembering every year since either 04/05 or 05/06 escapes me.
2006/7 - The Wife and I celebrated alone at our new home. She had a glass of champagne and fell asleep. I finished the rest of the bottle and watched Garrison Keilor's Central Time Zone New Year's show. This may be the N.Y.E. where I officially became old. I do remember having a great champagne buzz.
2007/8 - The Wife and I were in Vegas with the family. We rung in Central, Mountain, and Pacific time zone New Years at the same blackjack table at our local Lake Las Vegas casino. I drank champagne from a fountain and actually won some money.

Now if I can just get back to work soon, I won't have to spend N.Y.E. 2008/9 yelling at the sun again.

(You may have noticed that I skipped N.Y.E. 2001/2... there's a story there for another day.)

from Home Soon to Hopelessly Devoted

Day 672, Session 124:
When/Where: Tuesday April 22nd - Mopping the kitchen floor - ah glamorous life (someone please give me a job!)
First song: Home Soon by Oh Susanna
Last full song: Hopelessly Devoted To You by Clem Snide
Progress: 1983-1996 of 5889
Total Songs Heard: 1588

Three versions of Homeward Bound today, two proper Simon and Garfunkel versions and one off the cuff concert version from Fruvous. Hearing these songs got me to realizing that this particular musical treasure has absolutely no application to my life whatsoever.

When I was growing up, my Dad (at approximately the same age I am now) was going out of town all the time for work. He spent days upon days working and driving around Nowhere, West Virginia and Middle Of, Kentucky. Actually I believe he used to go to Hazard. Every time he got back from Hazard I asked him if he saw the Dukes. He never did (probably because the Dukes were in Hazzard, Georgia, not Hazard, Kentucky.)

Back when she was an engineer, the wife spent a lot of time on the road, mostly in Florida.

Even my professional student friends take extended trips away from home to exotic places like Antarctica and Rwanda.

I have been on exactly one business trip in my life. I went to Portland, Oregon and wasn't gone long enough to start thinking about Homeward Bound. I know everyone who does travel for business eventually tires of it, but there's a part of me that is really excited by the idea. So, yeah, if you've got a job to offer me, don't hold back just because it involves travel. I'd even be willing to get a passport.



Two other things I head today that I wanted to share. Being a nerd, I'm a big Weird Al fan, and one of my favorite things he does are his mash-up polkas, so here's one I heard today:

Hooked On Polkas - Weird Al

And being a theater nerd, I suppose I'm contractually obligated to be a fan of "Grease." The movie is ridiculous and I hold a grudge against the stage version based on the time I was on the crew and I almost had my ankle crushed while moving a piece of scenery, but I do like the music well enough. I especially like this cover by Eef Barzelay. He takes all of Olivia Newton John's manufactured Australian-playing-1950's angst and completely blows it out.



One more thing about "Grease." At the end of the movie when Sandy goes from good-girl to bad-ass-leather-girl... am I the only one who finds the transformation totally unattractive? I mean, completely ignoring the "you have to change yourself to get your man" message that it sends, I just find her hotter when she's playing the good girl. Am I the only one? Please use the poll over on the right to tell me whether I'm right, or whether I'm crazy.

from Food & Creative Love to For The Ladies

Day 497, Session 98:
When/Where: Tuesday October 30th - Wandering the aisles of Jewel, looking for walnuts.
First song: Food & Creative Love by Rusted Root
Last full song: For The Ladies by Stephen Lynch
Progress: 1396-1410 of 5401 (one duplicate skipped)
Total Songs Heard: 1156

So you'd think with me being jobless (5 weeks today) and all that there'd be a lot more writing around here. Yeah, I'd have thought so too.

Although I left the job 5 weeks ago, it was only this week that I finally severed ties completely. Up until Wednesday night I had still been taking part in the company bowling league. (Oddly, the initial reaction of many people when they found I was leaving was to immediately ask, "But you're not quitting bowling right?" I'm hoping this was because I was fun to hang out with at bowling and not because it's always challenging to find a sub.) The last night of bowling was weird because I realized that it really was the very last time I'll see many of those folks that I've been working with for the last 4+ years.

Since I quit I've had a lot of time alone with my thoughts (while not listening to music or writing obviously.) Upon full review, leaving was still the right thing to do. I was miserable at the job. I had been treated rather poorly and in turn allowed that to affect my job performance. Continually being questioned about my job performance was doing nothing to help my mood and the whole thing just kept cycling downward. A mature adult probably would have said to themselves, "Well I can't just quit my job without having a new job to go to, so I'll stick it out here until I find one."

Needless to say, I am not a mature adult. Maybe some day I will be, but not yet. So I left.

And here I am. Struggling to find purpose, (also porpoise, I haven't seen any dolphins anywhere) but in a better place I think. Even if I'm not, change is right around the corner. After all, I can't stay unemployed forever. The wife would kill me.

For Now - Avenue Q

from Everything Old to Evil Genius

Day 424, Session 87:
When/Where: Monday August 20th - Fullerton to home.
First song: Everything Old Is New Again by Barenaked Ladies
Last full song: Evil Genius by Jonathan Coulton
Progress: 1227-1233 of 5271
Total Songs Heard: 1007

Usually I try to fill this space with memories that are inspired by the songs that come along, more or less avoiding discussion of day to day life. This time however, the song titles are too applicable to resist.

The last couple of weeks at work have not been fun.

Everything Old Is New Again: I've been in the same position for 3 years now, doing pretty much the same job for the last 2 years or so. At least that was the case until recently. A couple of weeks ago I was offered another position in the same department, but here's the fun part, it would be a completely lateral move (no pay/title increase) to work with a product I know nothing about and have no interest in. So I politely declined. I wasn't really interested in making my old job new again.

Everything Right Is Wrong Again: A weekend went by and I pretty much forgot about the other position. Monday came and I got back to work on the things that I did. It's not the best job I've ever had, but it's the longest I've ever been employed at one place and that means something right? Or in song title form... there must be something "right" about the place to keep me there, no? Yeah, well, 4 days after turning down the lateral move to a position I wasn't really interested in I was told that I was being moved to that position anyway. Now I'm now business expert... but that would seem to be a very "wrong" way to go about things. Don't offer me the choice of whether or not to move if there's no choice actually involved. So ever since, a place that previously had felt right enough, now feels completely wrong.

Everything You Know Is Wrong: The two years of knowledge I had gathered in my previous position? All wrong for my new position. It's so different from what I was doing before that I might as well be a new hire.

Good times.

Although I usually don't post later on Fridays, I should be posting part 2 of the First 1000 mix later today.

from Dreams to Drown

Day 215, Session 76:
When/Where: Tuesday January 23rd - On the way home.
First song: Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
Last full song: Drown by Son Volt
Progress: 1032-1043 of 4814
Total Songs Heard: 889

Drive Mix is another dance routine song clip. Thank goodness it came up immediately after the last entry. I'd hate to be able to shake the creepy old man feeling any time soon.

Drinking With You is more from Jonathan Coulton. The song tells the tale of a guy with an office crush which is probably reciprocated but unspoken, think Pam/Jim from The Office (or Tim*/Dawn if you're Brit-inclined.)

Jonathan Coulton - Drinking With You

I've only tried to actually ask a girl from the office out for a drink once. I was temping in the customer service department of a credit card company. She was a temp who started a month after me. Since it was my second year at the same place, I was obviously qualified enough to train new hires and I trained her. (And it's killing me right now that I can't remember her name.)

The training went well. It was flirty and fun while still conveying the necessary information. We started eating lunch together in the cafeteria. I found out that she was the son of a preacher man. She found out that I was a little bit crazy. I thought things were going so well that I got it in my head to ask this girl out to eat after work. (Neither us were legally old enough to drink.) The week before I left to go back to school, as we were leaving the office (her name was Sarah, whew I feel better) I asked her out. She immediately, and I mean before I was even finished the asking the question immediately, said no. Apparently the feelings were not as reciprocal as I imagined.

The funny thing is, we then proceeded to spend the next 45 minutes standing by her car chatting. By this time I was very hungry; so I told her I was going to get some food and she was still welcome to come along. This time she said yes.

We had a good time at dinner. She talked about how she often drove through Dayton when going to visit a friend in Cinci. I invited her to stop by and visit some time. She said that sounded like fun.

Two days later I left the job for the summer but not before making sure she had all my contact info so we could hang out before I went back to school.

If you know me at all, then you've already figured out that I never heard from her again.

I'd like to think things will turn out better with Pam and Jim. (But if they don't… Pam, call me.)

*Originally posted as Martin/Dawn. In the British version of The Office, Tim was played by Martin Freeman.

Tuesday November 14th - Evening

Day 145, Session 51:
Location: Heading to rehearsal, running lines as I go.
First song: Closer to the Bone by Louis Prima
Last full song: Cold Blooded Old Times by (Smog)
Progress: 673-681 of 4474
Total Songs Heard: 596

Code Monkey Video!


There are more things to say about more songs in this particular set, but man, do I love me some Code Monkey. You probably will not be surprised to learn that the music behind this video is another example of the excellent work of Jonathan Coulton. I love the video because of the girl's commitment to the bit.

Added 1/8:
I said there was a little more to say about this day...

Cocoon by Bjork was terrible. Deleted! (Sorry Kerstin.)

Closing Time by Tom Waits, I discovered Tom Waits almost completely by accident. This song is the title track from his first cd. (Which, when it came out was actually called an album.) Some time in 1999 the group Semisonic released a song by the same name. At the time I was closing a lot of bars so it was something of a theme song. For some reason I got it in my head to try out some Tom Waits and since I already liked the song Closing Time I thought it would be cool to hear Tom Waits' version. Uh, yeah, they're not the same song. Not even close. In case you're not familiar, the Tom Waits' version is an instrumental. Turns out I like the Tom Waits' version better. If you don't know Closing Time, you should.

Tuesday October 24th

Day 124, Session 47:
Location: The train, the desk, the first hour at work
First song: Change In Speak by De La Soul
Last full song: Chinese Baby by Clem Snide
Progress: 614-632 of 4508
Total Songs Heard: 546

Two different versions of Chicago by Sufjan Stevens was the big song of the day. Normally having two versions of the same song on the same cd would seem like a waste of time to me. Not in this case. The two songs are different enough that it's justified. Chicago...

I've been in Chicago for 5 and a half years now. I did not arrive in Chicago under the best of circumstances. I had been fired from a job I loved. I had been unemployed for 4 months. Chicago wasn't really on my radar of places to go next except for that one minor point... it's where the girl was. I spent 4 more months unemployed once I moved here, so while I was free for an entire summer in a great city, I was also broke which meant not a whole lot of actually being able to do anything. And nothing I did! I had a standing date with the television every day for 4 or 5 hours.

I tried to jump into the improv scene in town, but I found a few problems... 1) I had never done any improv before and there was no improv at UD so 2) I wasn't very good and 3) I wasn't very good at meeting new people. So while the folks I was in class with either had A) preexisting bonds from past improv experience or college, or B) were able to mesh by being good on stage together or at the very least C) had basic people skills, I didn't have any of those things. It left me feeling like an outsider among the group I was with. The only thing better than being an outsider among people you're hanging out with semi-regularly is paying (a lot) for the privilege (when you're already kind of broke.)

(I should note here for the record that as far as I remember, no one actively rejected me or anything. I just wasn't able to make it work. It's possible that people actually didn't like me, but no one ever said so to my face.)

To recap for the first few months in town I had no job, no new real friends and an expensive new hobby that I wasn't very good at.

Eventually I did get a job (which kind of sucked) and then another job (which didn't suck at first, but eventually, unless you're doing something you really love, all jobs suck.) Eventually I made some new friends, but still no one all that close. (Which raises the question of whether it's even possible to make new friends after a certain age.) Eventually I even became not terrible at the whole improv/theater thing. Luckily, the whole reason for moving here (the girl) worked out in the end.

But still... looking back, I'm pretty sure I still haven't gotten over the way I arrived and the first year in this city.

I'm not sure Chicago and I will ever feel good about each other, but now I'm stuck here. Married home owners can not just up and leave any time they feel like it.

So maybe Chicago and I need to reevaluate our relationship. Maybe it's time to (finally) move past the rough start.

I made a lot of mistakes in my mind, in my mind

Monday September 25th - Evening (right before napping)

Day 95, Session 28:
Location: For the first few minutes of the ride home, before falling asleep.
First song: Billie Jean Medley by Moxy Fruvous
Last full song: Biminy by Hello Dave
Progress: 398-401 of 4316
Total Songs Heard: 352

Once again sacked out on the train on the way home. I only remember 4 tunes before the sweet sweet rocking of the train put me to sleep. From all the times I fall asleep on the train (you know, 2 so far) you may think that I have some sort of crazy sleep disorder. That's not the case at all. It's just that I desperately cling to the hours of the day when I'm not working. For me, work time is any time that I'm not free to do what I want. So yes, technically my work day runs from around 9:15a until around 5:45p. But in my mind, my work day begins the first time the alarm goes off in the morning and I'm fighting the battle of snooze (around 7:15a) until the moment I step off the train on the way home (usually around 6:20p.) The entire 11 hours and 5 minutes in between there is all devoted to getting myself ready to go to work, being at work, or getting home from work. 11 HOURS!!! Almost half my day. Leaving only 13 hours left for play. In order to maximize those hours I tend to stay up later than I should and get less sleep at night than I should. Even 6.5 hours of sleep a night (a good night for me,) cuts my play time in half. If sleeping for 20 minutes on the train (which is still technically part of the "work" part of the day and where all there is to do is read and sit and listen to music) gives me 20 more minutes play time from 1:00-1:20 AM at home (where I can be on the internet, play playstation, watch a movie and drink a beer... all at the same time!) then train sleeping is where it's at.

Seriously, think about that for a second:
24 hours in a day = 11 hours in "work" mode + 6.5 hours to sleep + 6.5 hours to play

And my work life isn't that bad. I could skim some time from the work hours by transferring some more to the sleep time in the morning. Plus I only have to work an 8.5 hour day and my job is tolerable. What about the people who hate their jobs or have a 3 hour commute or work 10 hour days?

No wonder so many people are unhappy most of the time. The people who are really happy are the ones that really enjoy their jobs and have a very short commute and don't need sleep.

In conclusion, lack of play time is fucking us all up! Play more! (Reading this counts as play unless you're at work.)

3 of the 4 songs I did hear today were Dayton related:
Billie Jean Medley is from a Moxy Fruvous concert at Canal St. in Dayton. A great night all around and one that I'm very lucky to have a recording of.

Biminy by Hello Dave was their most popular song when they would play at UD. Oddly enough they're a Chicago based band and I've seen them once or twice since I moved here, but it's never been quite as great as it was seeing them in college.

Billy & the Mystery Box is a song by Heywood Banks. Heywood is a touring comedic singer and a really nice guy. I met him several times during my Dayton radio days. I feel a little bad about having this song though. Apparently when I was cleaning out my desk at Z93 after getting fired, one of Heywood's cds ended up in my box of possessions. I always meant to take it back, but after the whole firing thing, I really didn't want to show my face around there again. Which was really too bad. Except for the peckerhead boss who fired me, I really liked almost everyone else who worked there, but after that morning I only spoke to one of them again (and I haven't heard from him in years.) My time at Z was the happiest I've ever been working, probably because being an on-air radio personality was a lot like playing all the time. I loved my job and my commute was short.

I still needed sleep though, so I guess it wasn't perfect.